1. We stop paying attention to stuff that is familiar, or that we think is not important.
Holy Cow! My brain actually works against me in my marriage! If something is familiar to me I start to become numb to it. Our teacher called it "Inattention Blindness." If we start to tune out our spouse, stop noticing them, that is a problem. When we assume we know everything about our spouse, we run the risk of becoming blind to them.
2. Too many things going on causes us to become blind.
With kids, schedules, work and errands, when the day is done, do I really have time to think about my wife? Maybe I should put my marriage first, and think about all the other stuff afterward. Yeah, that is tough to do. Yes, it might mean making different priorities. But trying to thin down extra events and places to go, things to do, might be what I need to help focus on my most important relationship—my marriage.
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3. If we are distracted, we can end up in a crash.
There are lots of good things in our life, but if they become more important than our mate—that’s not great for our marriage. The obvious one here is having an affair when you feel like someone is more interested, or interesting to you than your mate. That’s why number one is so important. We have to stay interested in and interesting to our spouse.
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Wow! Who would have thought that traffic school would be nearly as good as a marriage conference? And it almost cost me just as much.