This Gift Will Make Him Desire You More than Lingerie Ever Could
I attended a party recently where a woman friend approached me and asked: “You’re a man, what’s a good gift that I can give my husband for Valentine’s?” She was anxious, worried and fresh out of ideas. I suppose that as a certified card carrying member of the men’s club, I should instinctively know what other men want from their wives on Valentine’s Day. Since most men are simple creatures when it comes to receiving gifts, I scrolled through my mind for a list of simple creature gifts like power tools, car accessories, or tickets to a sporting event…any sporting event. I suggested these to her and she replied that she had already given him these things over the past year. However, this year, she wanted to give him something different, something beyond the ordinary.
What is it about gift giving that causes many couples to blank out and go into worry mode? There is such a wide range of things available for us to buy for one another; one would think this should be an easy task. Yet, when it comes to buying a special gift for our wives or husbands, we often seem to draw a blank, especially the longer we have been married. I call this, the “NTW” syndrome. It’s what happens when you stand in front of your closet dressed only in your underwear and declare…“I have nothing to wear!”
Right now you are smiling and nodding in recognition because you have done this hundreds of times. You stand in front of a closet filled with beautiful articles of clothing that you have acquired over time, and you think to yourself, there is nothing for me to wear. However, you know this is not reality. The reality is that you have so many things to wear that you cannot make a logical choice. None of the outfits seem to make sense at the moment, and that is the problem. You are trying to make logical sense of what to wear when, in fact, dressing up is an emotional decision and like oil and water, logic and emotions don’t mix.
The same thing happens when trying to select a special gift for your spouse. We try to approach this logically by asking: “what does he need,” or “what would he want,” when what we should be asking is:
“What do I want him to feel?”
Now we are getting somewhere!
Gift giving is an emotional experience. Your heart races and you feel a twinge of excitement as you hand him his gift. You get a little nervous and flushed as you anticipate his reaction and wait for that smile of his that you love so much beam across his face. You feel a warm release of tension as he thanks you and holds you, and shows his appreciation for your gift. This...is the reason we love to give gifts. Because of how it makes us and our spouse feel.
Alright, so what can you give your husband this Valentine’s Day that will allow you to have this emotional experience? No, don’t buy and wear new lingerie. Although he may think it is fun, it’s really the equivalent of you getting chocolate and flowers from him. No, don’t get him tickets to his favorite sporting event. Although he may be okay with it, his emotional energy will be dedicated to his team and your evening will rise or fall based on the final score. Instead, give him your attention…give him your undivided, I am absolutely fascinated by you kind of attention.
As a man, I can tell you that my most exciting times with my wife happened while we were getting to know each other. We hung on each other’s words as we sat across the table from each other with the candlelight dancing in our eyes. The world around us stopped as we slowly peeled the layers back on our dreams, desires, and deepest fears. The most significant and powerful that I have ever felt is when she said to me, “Tell me what you want to achieve in life, and I will help you achieve it.”
Lades, if you want to rock your husband’s world on Valentine’s Day, give him the gift of feeling significant. Ask him about his dream. That dream he may have once shared with you about conquering the world, climbing that mountain, and slaying dragons. Ask him what you can do to help him accomplish them. l guarantee this will fuel his desire for you and strengthen your emotional bond in a way that Lingerie never could.
Steve Gallegos is a Certified Life Coach, Personal Achievement and Communications Trainer, Host of The Stevie G. Success Show: The #1 Personal Achievement Podcast (iTunes and Blubrry), and Author of "How to Live Remarkably: Proven Strategies to Solve Your Problems, Make Better Decisions and Eliminate Stress." Subscribe at StevieGSuccess.com and get free access to his popular audio program: "How to Live a Remarkable Life," absolutely free!