Today is a day of blessings and thankfulness. I get to spend Mother's Day with my very own mother and my fabulous kids, as well as my hubby. As I observe my little family and notice all that I am thankful for, I can't help but think about the many people who walk into my office and lack their own mother to celebrate with.
Yes, we are all born to a "mom." However, there are some moms who do not understand or are unable to implement the duties that go into the job title "MOM." There's a saying in the therapy world, especially when working with kids, that a client will ask you to be what they need you to be. In other words, when a child walks through my door and has no mother, they very well need me to act in that role of mother for the period of time that I am with them in their life.
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I take this role very seriously. I may only see this kid one hour a week for a short period but you can guarantee that for that one hour a week for however long I see this kid, I will be the best mom they have ever had. I will listen to their heart, I will wipe their tears away, I will offer support and I will help them problem solve. Above all, I will give them love and treat them lovingly. Yes, I will maintain boundaries and I will set limits because moms do that, as well. Anxious Parenting: Are You Guilty Of It?
As I sat with a young lady whose parents are both in prison, I held her hand and hugged her closely. As I sat with the little boy whose grandfather died and he had no relatives to live with, I played airplanes and cars and didn't say a word. As I sat with the mother of four who has no parents to turn to, I shared mommy experiences about taking kids to the doctor or working with teachers.
Often, people come through the therapist's door looking for answers to problems. However, I've learned that some problems just can't be solved with words. A little girl once said to me, "Will anyone ever want to be my mommy?" But, there's no answer for that question. While I would love to say, "yes," I refuse to make promises I can't keep.
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So, what's my response? I wrapped my arms around this little pumpkin and said, "Most kiddos don't get to pick their parents. As you grow up, you will get to choose who you want in your life and who you don't. Pick a mommy who loves you so much and will listen to you with all her heart." Somehow, she understood what I meant. 2 Types Of Parents: Which One Are You?
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