2. Interrupt your pattern. After you recognize your pattern and interrupt it you are on your way to solidifying your change. How do you interrupt your pattern you ask? When you’re aware, you can use a physical reminder such as a rubber band on your wrist and snap it to help remind you that acting that way is not for your highest good. You can silently say “Cancel” to yourself to anchor that behavior as undesirable for you. You can remind yourself that every action on your part is a choice you make and you’re choosing to make different choices now. Most of this work is mental, yet these changes are very powerful for helping you become the best version of yourself and the most authentic you can be.
3. Choose a different action. Once you’ve interrupted your pattern you can choose a different way to respond or a different action to take. If a meeting place doesn’t appeal to you, suggest one or two that do. Offer up a choice of two times that fit your schedule. Let someone down gently if you know for sure they aren’t a match by saying something like, “Thank you for the invitation, but I can tell just from our conversations that we are probably not a match. I wish you luck in your search.” This way you don’t waste anyone’s time, you are still acting respectfully and you remain true to yourself.
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This new way of behaving will take a little practice to get used to, but I promise that you will love the results and it will overlap into other areas of your life beyond intimate relationships. You will start having better boundaries in your friendships and with family members. You will voice your opinions and realize that your wishes and desires are important, you are valuable, and you can have what you ask for. When you fully actualize and present your authentic self to the world you will not want to have it any other way! So get busy practicing on your dates, family and friends and see if you don’t immediately start attracting higher quality men into your life who also value themselves and YOU highly!