We all want to be loved forever, even though we know we will have "bad" behavior from time to time.
So, you are gonna have some "bad" behavior from time to time, huh? Does that mean you don't deserve love? What do we teach our kids? We tell our kids, "I love you for who you are, not what you do." Right? We love our kids unconditionally. If we don't have the intimate relationship we dreamed of having, it's because we don't give our partner unconditional love, like we give our kids. We all want to be loved forever, even though we know we will have "bad" behavior from time to time. Yet, we pull our love away when our partner has "bad" behavior.
What if, instead of pulling your love away, you choose to love their soul? What if you choose to respond instead of react? Respond to who they are inside, their heart. Instead of reacting to their "bad" behavior, fear, triggers and patterns. We all have fears, triggers, patterns and bad behaviors. Me, you, your partner and everyone else. Experiencing someone's bad behavior is an opportunity. It's an exercise in compassion.
In that moment, they are showing you their humanity. Like you probably feel when you are behaving badly, they feel they don't deserve to be loved when they are behaving that way. Instead of pulling your love away and proving them right, maybe give them a "lesson they will never forget"? What do I mean When someone is at their worst, give them a lesson they will never forget: Love them! Love them through their crap!
Look sweetie, when people are jerks and behave badly, they expect people to respond to them a certain way and they are "ready" for it. You know it's true because you know how you feel when you act like a jerk. So pulling your love away isn't going to be very memorable for them, they are expecting it. Give them a lesson they will never forget. Love them! When someone has "bad" behavior and you don't pull love away, instead, you look through the behavior to what is in their heart, feel who they really are, and love them anyway. That bonds a relationship like nothing else! They will never forget that.
Do you want that when you have the bad behavior? You have to give it to get it, sweetie. And I'll let you in on a little secret: it feels amazing both ways. Both when you give grace and when you receive grace because you get to truly feel it.
Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges that intimate relationship brings. Through targeted, strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation™, Relationship Rescue™ and Relationship Transition™ programs, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime.
Stacey firmly believes that it absolutely does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Clients have praised Stacey for helping them to see massive results in record time. Formerly known as "The Ice Princess", Stacey is intimately aware of what it takes to transform oneself to be ready to both give and receive love and passion like you have never experienced before.
Watch Stacey’s Free Valentine's Day Video, "How to Reignite Your Passion" at http://RelationshipTransformationSystem.com
More love advice from YourTango:
- 25 Romantic Ways To Say 'I Love You'
- 5 Ways To Be Happy About Your Love Life Right Now
- I Love You: 15 Ways Guys Say It Without Saying It