There's a deal breaker in creating an unshakable love and an unleashed passion that is quite controversial, but I think you know by now...that's not gonna stop me.
So buckle up buttercup, because we are going there now!
You can hate me for it or love me for it…..that doesn't change the FACT that unless your SPOUSE is #1 in your life, you cannot have an unshakable love and an unleashed passion!
Your spouse must be #1 in your life. Your marriage must come first.
Yeah, it doesn't end there. Here we go.
What does it mean to make your spouse your Number One? It means that you put your spouse (and your marriage) above work, above other family members, above the kids...YES, above the kids.
I know this may be a rough one to hear at first, but stay with me.
I'm only here to serve you and by the end of this article you will at least understand the reasons why it is best for you, your spouse AND your kids to put your marriage first.
Then you can choose whether or not it's for you. Deal?
First and foremost, to have an Unshakable love, by definition, NOTHING can come between you.
Again, by definition, if your spouse is further down your list than your work, other family members, kids...then by definition those things can SHAKE your relationship.
If your spouse feels that ANYthing in your world is more important to you than they are, not only do you NOT have an unshakable love, but you've got trouble brewing.
Let's start with the most controversial and most common one first...
Putting your partner before your kids
You love your kids. I get it. I love my kids too...more than life. No one's saying that you shouldn't love your kids.
Here's the thing - the greatest thing you can do for your kids is to create an unshakable love! Create a unified front, a solid marriage, unshakable by anything and anyone. From THAT space, you parent and love your children.
When your spouse is number two, three or four on your list, your kids feel that too. There are many studies that show the negative impact this has on your kids’ sense of safety and security because they sense that you two do not put each other first.
Kids are much more sensitive to your relationship than you think. Just think back to how your parent's relationship, or lack of one, impacted you and you will see.
Wouldn't you have preferred that your parents be a strong united front so nothing could come between them? Of course you would. As kids, you perceive your parent's relationship as a factor in your own safety and survival. And so do YOUR kids.
Your kids want you to have an unshakable love. They don't want anything to SHAKE your marriage!
I know you love your kids more than life itself. No one's asking you to love them any less.
This isn’t about your LOVE. There’s no measure for love. It’s like Paul always tells our son Jake. When Gracie was born we didn’t love you any less! We have an unlimited amount of love, for everyone in this family.