Most of our "rules of life" are created out of FEAR!
I'm a relationship coach and one day one of my clients looked at me and said, "so I broke one of my own rules" …
She's having her 1:1 laser coaching with me as part of the two day live retreat for our Relationship Breakthrough Total Access students!
Without even pausing for a second, the words just flew right out of my mouth "that’s when you KNOW you are on the right track!"
And another one of our Total Access Lovies looked at me and said "that is the truth!"
So, us "rule-breakers" know this is the truth when dating, no matter how annoying it is!
WHY is it the truth?!
It’s simple … most of our "rules of life" are created out of FEAR!
Don’t take my word for it, test it for yourself.
I’ll use another client example to illustrate. One of my clients had a rule that she could only have a successful relationship with a man who earned more money than she did.
WHY? What do you feel is the driving force behind that doozie of a rule?
Was she coming from a place of abundance, faith and vulnerability?
Oh hell no! She was coming from fear, protection and "correction" of past painful experiences.
In this situation, my client "Sally" had been completely in love with her man and yet, in time their relationship deteriorated. Increased bickering, less passion, more distance, less unity, more hurt feelings, lack of excitement and stimulation, build up of resentment, pain, and even anger.
When Sally explained it, she kept focusing on their arguments over finances, decision making around finances, and how immasculated and weak her husband became over the course of their relationship. She created a false-belief that this was a direct result of her earning significantly more than he did and simultaneously believed that the "solution" was to FIND a partner who made more money than her.
The FEAR based rule making was … if I am with a man who makes less than me, that will lead to pain, so my rule will prevent this pain.
That’s how we make these rules.
I’ll take it a step further. Many of our "rules" are not just driven by fear but, they are actually an OVER-CORRECTION from the painful experience.
Like the woman who has her heart broken by a high-achiever and seeks out an easy going-yogi-like peace-seeker because he is everything her old partner was NOT. Over-correction!
In my client Sally’s example, what she came to see was that there were many factors that led to her slipping into her masculine energy and her husband slipping into his feminine which caused a "flip-flop" in their energies and fizzled the passion … which led to bickering and the deterioration of the relationship.
She saw how, even though she had positive intent, many of the things she was doing in her relationship with her man were emasculating him—things that had NOTHING to do with money.
Once she began implementing the steps to the Relationship Transformation System she immediately saw how she could easily stay in her feminine and empower her new man to be rooted in his masculine, regardless of the fact that the new man she was falling in love with made significantly less money than she did.
That’s why us committed rule-breakers know that when you start breaking your own rules you KNOW you are on the right track! Because it means that you are breaking some of your software that was written based in fear and stepping into your strength, authenticity and growth!
So, how about you? What "rules" are you breaking lately? What is something that you find yourself saying "I can’t do that" or "I’m just not like that" or "it has to be this way?"
What are you trying to protect yourself from with that rule?
What if you were completely wrong and you could not actually protect yourself with that rule?
When would NOW be a good time to break that rule?!
Post in the comments and tell me yours!
Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges that intimate relationship brings. Through targeted strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation™, Relationship Rescue™ and Relationship Transition™ programs, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime.
Stacey firmly believes that it absolutely does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Clients have praised Stacey for helping them to see massive results in record time. Formerly known as "The Ice Princess", Stacey is intimately aware of what it takes to transform oneself to be ready to both give and receive love and passion like you have never experienced before.
Download Stacey's free audio program, “How to Transform Your Relationship in Eight Steps” at http://relationshiptransformationsystem.com/freegift/