Okay, we've all been there, we've all had our heartbroken to the point that it doesn't feel as if it will get better. We pine for the person that we think we want, and feel like it's the end of the world. But when you really think about it, what are we really upset for? Are we upset that a person we know didn't want us in the first place broke up with us? In that case, shouldn't we be happy that they kept us from making such a huge mistake in being with them?
What kills me about people and relationships is when they let it disrupt their entire way of life. When they feel that suicide or being a side chick is the only answer to their break up. I think the bigger picture here is that some people don't feel that they're worth more; they feel that their only option to a relationship is to beg and chase after someone that's told them they don't see them as being the one.
From that point, instead of moving on, we move to food, sex, drugs, alcohol, and everything in between to get our mind off of it. Destroying ourselves instead of making ourselves better. You may be asking yourself — well what do I do with a broken heart? How do I pretend to be happy when everything in my soul is telling me to jump off a building? I tell you this. Broken hearts are not easy, but sitting there and thinking about how much your heart is broken, or thinking about the person that broke your heart isn't going to help.
I think that it's okay to mourn for a little while. By little while, I mean a week. No, everything won't be all better in a week, but the days of you sitting on the couch, calling off of work, and eating ice cream all day should be over. At some point you should get up, put on some clothing, make up, and get some fresh air. Don't let the fact that one man didn't want you get you all in a bunch.
You need to adapt the attitude that it's their loss. If someone is willing to pass your over, then why would you want to be with them anyway? Why would you want to be with anyone that didn't appreciate your value and was willing to let you go? I think after a break up, most of the reasons as to why we're upset are selfish. It's because that person was not the one, we have to start over, or they hurt your ego. Nine times out of ten, before a break up, when we really think about the relationship — it's not so peachy anyway.
Is it okay to have a broken heart? Yes. It's not okay to be needy, making drunken calls to your ex, and begging for them to come back! If they don't want you, then their loss. Being needy does not make a man want to come back, or make them realize what a mistake they made. If they don't want to be with you, then they don't want to be with you. Even if they did come back for your attention seeking antics, it would just be for pity, not because they really wanted to come back.
So if you have a broken heart, it's time to put on your big girl panties and get over it. Not gaining another twenty pounds, begging or pleading for the person to come back, or wondering what you did wrong. At the end of the day it doesn't matter. What matters is that the person from your past is not it. So heal, move on, and learn whatever you need to learn. Stop wondering why, because doesn't matter. All that matters is your future, not your past, and the longer you linger on someone that is not it, the more you're prolonging the one that is. So with every break up there's a time to heal and then move on; don't let one break up hinder you from growing.
Enjoyed reading this article and want to read more? Check out Sophia's blog at http://therapyncounseling.blogspot.com
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