I believe that there is a reason and season for everything and every person that we meet. I know that this is a saying that is very prevalent, but I think that we really have to reflect on what this means, especially as it pertains to relationship and our lives. The first thing is that everyone that enters your life is not going to be there in a positive way. Some people are not going to like you, some are going to talk bad about you, and there are times that you will be treated unfairly. It's just the ways of the world. However, I think that we have to bring these ways into a new understanding.
Often times, these ways are not to bring us down, but to build us up. And even though it feels like we are being pulled to the brink or insanity, when we are going through these things, like a lump of coal that has been through heat and pressure, its meant to make us come out like a diamond in the end.
I think the best Bible verse that can explains this is "but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4
You see the thing is that if the world was the way we wanted it to be 100% of the time, or if people treated us the way that we wanted to be treated 100% of the time, then what type of person would we be? If we never had a problem, if no one was ever rude to us, if things always went right in our lives, then how our strength as a person ever be tested, and if our strength is never tested then how can we know how high we can jump or how far we can reach.
You see it is through the bad stuff, that makes us stronger, that makes us want to prove people wrong and make liars out of those when they told us we would not amount to anything. Once we know we are through the tough times and that we can still come out on top, then we know that the next time we cannot be so easily knocked down or swayed. Not only that, but we are able to recognize quicker and faster the people and things that are not good for us, because we would have already "been there and done that" and feel no need to repeat past mistakes.
In my opinion, everyone was born to be great. It is up to them weather they get there or not. I do not care whether you were born poor, molested, raped, beaten...that is the bad stuff that can be turned into a big testimonial to someone one day. Look at Joyce Meyer. It's no secret that she was molested and raped by her father for years. Yes it was a terrible thing, but look at her now. Could she be any stronger in the father that she had in Christ had she not endured the bad stuff. Or even more so, that she forgave her father and lead him to Christ!
Look at Jesus' life. He was born in a barn, with dirty smelly animals and put into a contraption that animal their food eats out of. He lived very poorly, had no real home to call his home, went against popular belief, faced rejection, and although many loved him, many hated him too. And last but most certainly not least, he died a common criminal's death. We often use words like he was born in a manger in a stable, and lived a humble life, in which he was crucified. That sounds much different that the reality of the situation. Jesus' life was hard, very hard. But I think it was intentionally made this way. So that no one can say, they ever had it harder than Him, on Earth...and yet and still he was able to accomplish the mission that he was put on this Earth for. He didn't dwell on what was not being done for him, or who said what about him; he just did what he had to do, and worked with what he had, and still came out on top.
The point that I am trying to make is this: Do you wonder where your life partner is, or what your point in life is? Well I think that if you do then you have not gone through what you needed to go through or learn what you need to learn in order for that person or purpose to be there. In each relationship, interaction, trail, tribulation...there is a lesson to be learned. Now, how fast you get through that lesson depends on you.
I think it was Albert Einstein that said "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Let's take this for a moment here. If you are the type of person that jumps in bed with a man too soon, and do it time and time again and wonder why your relationships are not going anywhere...then you may be insane. Why do we as people want to revisit the same path, the same person, or type of person and do the same things over and over and expect the outcome to be different? Why do we keep ahold of people that we know are not good for us, that hurt us, that have no place in our future? Everything and everyone has a season you guys, you have to go through it, learn from it, and then you have to let go.
The best way I can illustrated this is if two women have the same exact destiny. One gets married at 28 and the other at 42. What went wrong since they have the same destiny? Often times it goes like this, the 28-year-old meets someone they know is no good for them. They are able to recognize that within weeks that this person is not for them, and moved on. Within the same year they meet person A,B, and C, and within that year they were able to recognize that none of these people are good for them.
Not only did they move on, but they took something out of each and every relationship and made a change on the inside of them depending on the experience of the relationship. Eventually, she came to know herself, and she knew what she wanted out of life, as well as what she wanted out of a partner, and at the age of 28 she knew that she found that person.
Let's take the 42-year-old. Instead of learning and growing, she would hold on to man A, knowing that he was not the one, knowing that his type of love hurt but still hoping it would change. She held on for five years all for the sake of wanting to get married, or not wanting to be alone, or not understanding that the purpose was not for man A to be in her life for 5 years. However, she continued this pattern and instead of going through B and C like the 28-year-old did, learning from each experience, she held on to them each for years...keeping men that God was trying to pull away. She did not learn from her experiences and added man D, E, F, G into the mix.
More dating coach advice from YourTango:
- 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know
- The Best Dating Advice On YourTango
- Find A Relationshp Expert