Don't depend on someone else to make you happy.
It would seem that ever since Jerry McGuire, the famous phrase to tell someone is that they complete you. I know this sounds all romantic, but I would have to beg to differ. I think that this phrase sends the wrong message to people, which is that someone needs another person to complete them in a relationships in order for the relationship to be functional. This may be why we have so many dysfunctional relationships going on in the world. People expect for the person they are with to complete them. And when they feel they are not getting what they need from that person in order to feel complete; they move on in search for someone else.
Well, this is a news flash for you, do not expect anyone to complete you! If you wait for someone to complete you in order to be happy, then you may be waiting for a very long time. The point is, do not depend on someone else to make you happy—to do so would be giving that person way too much power over your emotions. Do not wait until you are married until you feel like you can move forward into the next phase in your life, you can do these things now.
The main point that I am trying to make here is that you should be happy on your own and you should be completed on your own. The only thing that the other person is going to come in and do is add onto the already awesome packaged called "yourself". Because if you depend on someone else for your happiness and that person never comes? Then what? If you depend on someone else to complete you and they leave or disappoint you? Then what? Are you just going to fall apart. Do you see what I mean. You have to have the strength to stand on your own. When people see that you are confident on your own and that you are complete on your own, then people would be falling over themselves to be next to you. Because they will feel like it is easy to be your friend and not feel responsible for your emotions.
No one wants to be around a needy and clingy person. And at the end of the day, no relationship can survive like this. Relationships are really about what you can give to the other person. It is about what you can give to your partner, and your partner giving to you. If in a relationship, everyone was always focused on giving, then the relationships would go a lot smoother. However, if you are waiting on someone to complete you, then guess what, you have nothing to give to the other person. You do not even have enough to give to complete yourself. Therefore you have to think about that when you are looking for someone to complete you. There the ones that are completing you, but what are they getting out of it?
Therefore, do not look for anyone to complete you. That is because there is no one else out there that can complete such task, with the exception of God. If you feel that you are in a place that you are not complete, then the last thing that you should be looking for is a relationship. You need to be looking for yourself, and figure out whatever it is that you need to go do until you do feel complete on your own. Then you can go out and find someone to add to you. But while you are incomplete do not go around trying to find and/or expect someone to add to your already dysfunctional self. It is not fair to them. Be fair, and the type of partner that adds on to someone life, not someone that is incomplete and expect to be added on to. Do not leave the responsibility of you being happy on someone else's head.
More self-love advice from YourTango:
- The Way To True Love Is Through Self-Love
- Love: Tips & Expert Advice
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