Sex on the first date is one of the hottest controversies going today, especially when it comes to online dating. How far do you go versus how far you want to go? What kind of message are you sending your date by saying yes … or by saying no? Most of all, what consequences will these in-the-moment decisions have in the cool light of a couple days’ hindsight? As it turns out, those consequences could be more positive the less caution you exercise on that first date.
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My best friend and I think along the same lines when it comes to dating – so much so that we lost our virginity to the same guy, and that’s how we met. He’s long gone, but we’re still going strong, boosting each other through all kinds of dating mishaps, dry spells, breakups, and get-togethers. I’d begged her to give online dating a try for years, but she was stubborn. Within a few weeks of writing a (clever, engaging, fabulous) profile (because she is clever, engaging, and more fabulous than words could ever express), she had had a wonderful first date who would become a wonderful boyfriend. ”At the end of that first date goodnight kiss,” she told me, “it was all I could do not to pull him inside by his belt loops and throw him down on my bed right then.” And after a couple more dates, that’s just what happened. Since those first few dates, she and her new man have developed a deeply caring and intimate relationship that anyone would envy. They have fallen completely in love, and it’s great to see.
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