For those of you who follow my blog, I talk a lot about Red Flags. Funny, in the moment I don’t usually recognize them – but hindsight is 20/20 right? Well, I figured I should share what I’ve learned through this so-called hindsight so that other daters out there might possibly learn something from my ignorance.
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Red Flags in Him
Red flags in him are generally pretty obvious, however, I’m guilty of just making excuses for them, or rationalizing their behaviour instead of seeing the truth that’s right in front of me. Guaranteed most of you ladies out there have experienced at least one of these: The guy isn’t “looking for a relationship right now”. He never wants to go out in public or hang out with friends (yours or his). He won’t make time to see you. These all seem really obvious. But in the moment, it’s easier to make excuses and hope for the best. Lesson learned the hard way.
Another big one, which is harder to identify, is how long it’s been since their last relationship. It can be challenging when they insist they’re ready to date and to be with you. But if your gut says he’s not over his ex, he’s probably not.
Red Flags in Me
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Sometimes there’s behaviour in myself that signifies a red flag. For instance, there has been a time or two, I’ll ashamedly admit, where I was involved with a booty call or fling at the same time I met a ‘potential’. I catch myself thinking (and usually acting upon), “Maybe I can squeeze in one last fling with so-and-so, before [insert new guy’s name here] and I get exclusive.” Not generally a good sign that’s going to work.