Oh, the all-important online dating profile.
If you’re like me, the first time you approached one of those blank templates on Match or OKCupid or JDate or wherever, you flashed back to college admissions essays.
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“Am I well rounded enough to enrich the student body?” you asked yourself at 17 or 18. But, more importantly,“Will they like me? Will they? Huh huh?”
And all of a sudden, as you contemplated your singlehood and your partner-worthiness, you felt this strange mix of adolescent insecurity and raw need to see what the accepted ones actually wrote.
Because, assuming it isn’t actually all about posting hot photos (and, I assure you, it really isn’t) then it’s pretty damn important what you say about yourself, right?
Yes, it is important. BUT, have you considered that what you don’t say is just as important?
Lemme tell you a little story....
A friend of mine, “Rachel,” felt uncomfortable (as in, slightly mystified and deeply bored) with the whole online dating setup. All of those stilted, procedural “Nice profile—I’m interested.” emails back and forth, she explained to me, just to set up one stinkin’ date.
During which, odds are, she’ll meet a nice guy with a good job who’s just…sort of bland. And [yawn] was it really worth the missed gym workout?
What Rachel really loves and thrives on is the dance of flirtation. The kind of flirtation you experience while striking up conversation with that man with the mischievous smile whose eyes caught yours from across the room. And that is even more enjoyable when the guy buys you that drink and obviously sees you for the salty, sultry vixen that you are.
I’ve seen Rachel in action at a Christmas party and a couple of happy hours. She’s good. Very salty. Very sultry.
So, as we talked, the question became…
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How to capture all of that fun, charisma, and flirt-vitation in a profile?