Dear Coach Steph,
I was dating this guy for 6 months, and everything was going great. But, we never said that we were exclusive, so, I started seeing someone else.
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Anyway, now I am confused. I still like the first guy more, but he found out that I was seeing someone and we had a big fight. I told him that I didn’t care what he thought about me seeing the other guy…but I lied. I really wanted him to say that he wanted to be with me, but I was too scared to say that, because I didn’t want to say it out loud.
HELP! I don’t know what to do now.
I Care…da** it!
As someone who has tested many, many men, the truth is that you know EXACTLY what to do…you just have to muster up the courage to do two things:
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- Decide that you are okay with WHATEVER the outcome is, when you go back to Guy #1 and tell him that you want to be with him.
- Decide to go back and tell him–not text him, not email him, but call him up, and make time to tell him what you feel face to face.
When we like someone, we all seem to go to “mush.” We seek having the upper hand, in a situation where there are no winners or losers. Admit it, the real reason that you started seeing the other guy was because you wanted a reaction from Guy #1. You got a reaction when he got upset (make a note of that), but you remain confused because he didn’t say what you want him to say in the heat of that moment.