We’d been toying around the idea of doing it for more than a year and a half. Though it wasn’t something I’d always done, I was definitely game with the Warrior Poet. However, my conscientious love was hesitant to delve into those deep waters with me—for while I am strong of will, I can also be quite fragile in other ways. But one New Year’s Eve of debauchery, WP let down his guard and I swayed my body encouragingly, and he was finally faced with an opportunity he couldn’t resist. Yes, dear readers, I am talking about reaching the point in your relationship when you've decided you're adding some spice to your sexual repertoire—in our case, by slipping it in the backdoor.
Under Lock and Key
Despite a healthy and fairly adventurous sex life, for the longest time I considered the butt an off limit area. My college boyfriend and I even used to have this running joke where anytime he came near my butt, I would cry out, “Clink,” as if a chastity belt of the bum had suddenly been secured and locked into place. I thought going too far up the rump was dirty and unnecessary. A few remnants of my somewhat sheltered and repressed Christian childhood took some time to transcend.
After that relationship, the chastity belt was removed to make room for play in the area. I had a lover who asked me to explore his nooks and crannies. I felt a little gross doing so, but I decided to play along since he enjoyed it so much.
Giving Us a Heads Up
Then, I was traumatized when a boyfriend decided it was completely okay to suddenly try to jam himself in my rear end without any warning or prep at all. Lovers, a poke that is a complete shock is not okay. Some form of consent, whether verbal or physical, needs to be in place beforehand. If you are in a relationship where trust and freedom to play is established, then by all means make some advances in the booty region. But if you’ve never even talked about it before, don’t assume that you can just gain entry whenever you wish. That should be an implicit rule of respect for the people with whom you are intimate.
More Sex Advice on YourTango:
- Spiritual Sex: 10 Erotic Commandments
- 7 Sex Positions Men Love
- Sex Stories #119: 'The Night I Roofied Myself'
Keep reading: Adding Some Spice To Your Sexual Repertoire