At roughly the midway point in my recent sixty day dating detox, a good friend of mine casually mentioned that I join her weekly Book Club at their upcoming meeting. Evidently, they were beginning a 6 week “dating course” about attracting mature and meaningful relationships, and my friend thought that I would be a great addition to the group…particularly for this little adventure. I mean…obviously.
Admittedly, I was hesitant. Something about the concept reminded me of a “dating support group,” and I was in no mental place to be bashing men or bitch about dating. I mean, once I hit the midway point in my dating detox, I was finally in a comfortable and optimistic emotional space, and I wasn’t about to relapse in to old non-productive habits. Still, I trusted this friend’s judgement, and, really, I was incredibly curious. Plus, I had 6 weeks to spare and nothing to lose. So, I was in.
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Ever since, this amazing group of six smart, successful, sexy, and single women (yes, I just lumped myself in with their fabulousness…deal with it) has met ever Monday at various wine bars, taco joints, sports bars, and cafes to chat about our progress through the dating program and support one another along our independent but now somehow intersecting journeys through the wacky but wonderfully delicious world of dating. You’ll likely hear more about this group because, well, I’m basically obsessed with them. But, for the moment, all you need to know is that they are simply amazing…and, for whatever reason, they like me enough to let me join them. Don’t question it.
So, at our second or third “book club meeting,” one of my fellow daters brought along Dr. Ali Binazir, author of The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide To Being Absolutely Irresistible (read more here). It was a uniquely fantastic opportunity to not only absorb some of this dating professional’s incredible insight, but this also meant that a MAN (::gasp::) would be joining our group for one night. I mean, it doesn’t get much more scandalous and exciting than that!
Ali was not only undeniably charming and insightful, but he was also a great sport. And, he absolutely gave us some wonderful and interesting advice. For me, the most interesting bit of advice was what he calls “The Three Man Plan,” which essentially means not putting all of your delicious dating eggs in to one silly little basket. Instead, date a few men at once. Create competition. Keep your options open. Date around, if you will, until one man rises to the top.
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Personally, I preferred my friend’s analogy a bit better but, again, I’m absolutely in LOVE with the women in this book club, so it’s nearly impossible for me to stay objective here.
Either way, she explained it as being the singular sexy cook in the kitchen of your dating life. As the lead chef, you get to keep lots (and lots) of pots on your relationship stove. The amount of water that is in each pot is up to the respective partner. How much heat you give each pot is entirely up to you. And, where on the stove each pot falls is also up to your discretion. Oh, and of course, all of these variables are constantly changing. But, until one pot bubbles over with passion and commitment, you should keep as many pots as you want going at the same time.