The pressure of Valentine’s Day and what to do about it is a question we ask ourselves each year. In a Fox News television interview, author Debra Kunz talks about the biggest valentine’s questions people have but are afraid to ask. The answers are practical, surprising, and maybe take a little stress out of Valentine’s Day.
Voted #1 Best Dating Book 2013, Debra Kunz is the author of “Love is Blind Only if You Are,” and the creator of DeliberateDating.com, named in the 10 Best Dating blogs for building confidence and courage in the search for love.
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Question 1 – What do I do about Valentine’s Day?
You can decide to celebrate or not celebrate. As Debra points out, doing nothing says something so if you want to continue to date someone, you’d better do something.
Being afraid of doing the wrong thing isn’t a reason to avoid celebrating. A practical tip from Debra is to stick with your Valentine’s favorites like a movie, song, dance or restaurant.
Question 2 – What does my Valentine expect?
Debra’s insightful answer struck us, “Understanding expectations is really code for ‘I’m not sure what my Valentine thinks is romantic’” with her deeper understanding that “It’s how what you do is interpreted that scares people.”
The surprising advice she gave us is permission to ask our Valentine what they would like! What she didn’t say, though may have with enough time, is it’s how you ask that matters. Grunting and groaning while you ask in a disinterested tone will not get anyone anywhere. Genuinely asking how your Valentine would like to celebrate just might.
For a new relationship, go with the classics such as flowers and dinner out. The gift of jewelry (in any form) says you are serious so only go there if you are. Regardless, get a card Debra advises. It’s a chance to share your feelings and let someone else help you write it. If you can’t find one that expresses the right sentiment, go with a funny one and write a note in it.
Question 3 – What kind of date should I plan?
Make your date thoughtful and meaningful for your Valentine. If you have been together for a while, recreating your first date, first meal or watching the first movie you saw together can be very romantic.
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An energizing option is to do something unexpected, like dress up and go out if you usually stay in. The surprise will certainly get attention – especially if you didn’t celebrate with your Valentine last year.
Spending time together is one of the best gifts, and Debra suggests that we can celebrate on a different day with a day trip or concert tickets, but advises us to recognize Valentine’s Day on the day to start the celebration.