Few would argue that makeup sex isn’t necessary, if not downright hot, in getting back to a better place after a fight. The trick can be, though, how to initiate it. If you’re the one who has been wronged or upset during a spat, you’ve got it easy – you can just march over to your lover and state, “I forgive you,” before going in for a smooch.
If you’re the person in trouble, however, you’ve got your work cut out for you. So in expressing your “I’m sorry,” be sure to buy flowers for your love with a thoughtful card, or send an email or IM the next time you know your love is online, acknowledging you’re a dolt and asking if there’s any way you can make it up – in bed.
You can also simply take her hand, kiss it, and ask for forgiveness. You can rub his shoulders, kiss the top of his head, and ask him if you can just get past this. Basically, think about how you can charm your way back into your love’s good graces. And more than anything, don’t try to push matters. Your partner’s anger will wear off eventually, but will have to run its course – you can’t force making things okay again, including doing that with a roll in the hay.
#3 – Only Give or Only Receive Sex
‘Tis better to give than to receive is more than just a cliché. Many lovers thrive off of the one-way gesture, where one partner pleases the other to no end, getting nothing in return, for the mere fact that it is nothing but nice. The one-way is among the easiest ways to shake things up and show your partner how much you appreciate him, how much you love her, and how much you really value the other’s pleasuring and happiness, as was the case for Adele*:
“The love of my life is amazing to me in so many ways – kind, generous, and selfless. So I decided to surprise him one night at 4:23 am by slipping into a very sexy new piece of lingerie. I lit a few candles, rubbed my hands with a lotion he loves, and began my "THANK YOU" using only touch and no words. It was a very erotic experience for both of us, and a way to show him that I enjoy pleasing as much as I enjoy being pleased!”
To make sure that your partner doesn’t feel guilty and attempt to return the favor, let him know that this moment is all about him. Tell her that she can show her gratitude at a later date. Stress that this is all about your love’s pleasure and nothing else – and if you’re the receiver, relax and enjoy it!
While it can be difficult being the sole focus of attention, especially in that it can make you feel vulnerable, you must allow yourself to surrender to the sensations being lavished upon you. It is as important to be a good receiver as it is to be a giver. We get a lot out of doting on our lovers, fulfilling their every need and pleasure.
After all, the one-way helps you to totally tune into your partner, breeding generosity and taking your intimacy to a higher level. The action is no longer about “me” and what can “I” get out of this, but is about selflessly loving the other, even when you’re too tired to be intimate, want something low key, or not in the mood. Ultimately, it’s a gesture with many happy returns.
#4 - Sex Where You Attempt Something that Might Not Necessarily Work
A gravity-defying sexual position gone wrong, a homemade sex toy turned emergency room visit, a not so clever quickie in cramped quarters, a “spreadable” edible that leaves you feeling more sickly than sexy… What drives lovers to try maneuvers and enhancements which may not necessarily work?
Quite simply, even if it’s disastrous, it’s fun. Couples with good energy can have a ball experimenting and exploring, even if you end up with nothing more than a fond memory and a big mess.
While many “sexcapades” may not be worth repeating, lovers continue to pursue quests for better, more enticing, more stimulating sex. Why? Sex gone wrong can actually help a couple to bond. Plus, a partner who can roll with the punches and still come back for more is very attractive. Who doesn’t love an open-minded lover on an endless expedition for sexual gratification in all of its forms?
*Names have been changed.