2. Cutting you off from friends and family. This can happen so slowly that you almost don't notice it. An abuser knows that friends and family aren't as emotionally invested in this relationship as you are and will try to talk you out of it. The objective is to make you feel alone and dependent on your abuser.
This often comes in the disguise of "wanting to spend more time together, just the two of us." The abuser will disparage all of your friends with cutting remarks about them, trying to make you question your friendships.
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3. An abuser must know where you are and what you're doing at all times. Your privacy will be eroded little by little. The abuser reads your email, opens your mail, checks your phone, goes through your drawers, handbag, wallet and pockets. An abuser calls you constantly when you are not home, "just checking in."
If you are not living together, an abuser will drive by your house at all hours or "just stop by" several times. Woe to you if you're out of reach or are having lunch with a friend.
4. Threatening suicide. This is an old trick abusers use to keep you in line. Abusers value themselves way too highly to let you go that easily. They are very good at faking suicide by nicking the veins just enough or taking just enough pills to scare you into obedience.
5. Inflicting pain. Hitting, pushing, pinching or squeezing you, usually leaving marks than can be covered with your clothes, is just the beginning. This is to let you know who's boss. It's one of the biggest warning signs that you should get out .
If you put up with it, your abuser will become confident that you are not going to report bigger things. The more the abuser gets away with, the more he will escalate the violence.
6. It's all your fault. Everything that goes wrong, in or out of the relationship, is because of you. Abusers all use a variant of the same old line: "I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't provoke me into it."
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It's amazing how many abuse victims believe this, making excuses for the abuser, such as "he really loves me" or "he just wants to help me improve myself."