Follow these 4 tips to effectively communicate with your partner—THERE IS SUCCESS!
Just got off the phone today with a customer service experience that was quite hellish. Clearly, this business owner never learned how to communicate effectively. It’s amazing that he is still in business with his abusive manner.
Needless to say, in a marriage, we need to make sure we are communication effectively.
Do you use effective communication? Or are your words provocation? Are they pulling your spouse closer or farther away from you?
Follow these tips for effective communication:
- Eliminate all name-calling, finger-pointing, blaming, and shaming. A toxic relationship cannot thrive. Angry outbursts chip away at the love and trust that a couple has for each other.
- Take ownership for your feelings and frustration by focusing on why your spouse’s actions disturb you. Replace the "you" of "you always do this" with "I"—"how I felt when … "
- Learn to ask for what you want. It’s so easy to complain that we often forget what it is we are missing. Rather than focusing on how your spouse ignores you, share how badly you crave his love and attention.
Following these communication tips will "Detox Your Marriage". Not only does detoxing your marriage help remove the poison from your relationship, it will make your spouse much more amenable to meeting your needs.
Detoxing your marriage will also help to eradicate verbal abuse.
Not sure how to start?
You’ll want to get a copy of our book, The 5 Step Action Plan to a Happy & Healthy Marriage. It’s free!
In Step 4 of our book, we talk about entering the world of the other.
One of the painful realizations that married people discover is that "my spouse is not me."
In order to make room for the other, it is critical to learn how to acknowledge that your spouse may see the world very differently than you.
Get into the habit of asking, "Is now a good time?"
We do that by learning how to communicate more safely. When we talk, we want to connect and make sure our spouse hears us.
Another Relationship Tip! Get into the habit of asking, "Is now a good time?" instead of dumping a verbal assault. If the goal is to connect, make sure your spouse is mentally and emotionally available to connect.
Once you’ve agreed upon a time to speak, try to enter the other’s world by listening and understanding without responding or interjecting. Although in your world things may look entirely different, be curious and interested in what your partner is saying. You may be surprised what you discover.
Couples are so often caught up in their own world that it is hard to make sense of the other’s experience. In successful relationships, both partners are allowed to express their own feelings safely and can work together to bridge the gap between their worlds.
Contact us if you’d like your relationship to be a successful one. We can help.
With best wishes for your relationship success,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin
This article was originally published at http://themarriagerestorationproject.com/effective-communication-with-your-partner/. Reprinted with permission from the author.