In other posts, I’ve referred to fear as The Gatekeeper; for many people, viewing fear as a character in your psyche helps to begin to dialogue with it and, over time, diffuse it completely. I also often reference The Wizard of Oz because, like the wizard, fear puts on a great, big, loud, scary show, but when you pull back the curtains you reveal a scared little man behind it all. This is how it is with fear. When you’re believing its lines, it assumes the power of a vicious monster, but as soon as you start to name and see it for what it is, you realize that it’s really just blowing a lot of hot air and lies into your ear that, while may have been true as a child, don’t hold water anymore.
None of this is easy work. I simplify it in my articles for people to see what the process looks like, but understanding what to do and actually doing it are two different things. But this is what I can tell you with 100% certainty: if you do the work, you can work through your fear. I’ve seen it over and over again and it never ceases to inspire and amaze me. One of my clients, who was thoroughly dedicated to her process of dialoguing daily with the fear characters (judgement, wounded child, etc), recently said to me, “The moment I broke free was the moment I stopped giving fear any energy. I stopped listening to it. I’m amazed at what fear will do to get me to leave. But now when I hear fear whisper something in my ear, I just say, ‘Whatever’, and move on to the next moment.”
This is the work in a nutshell: learning how to stop giving fear any energy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s not easy, but in my mind, there is no work more worthy on this earth. In the battle between love and fear, who will you allow to drive your car?