One of the most common questions I'm asked in my counseling practice is something along these lines: "My fiancé and I have a great relationship, but after he proposed my sex drive plummeted. Is this normal? I don't want to be stuck in a sexless marriage!" Boys Buying Bling: 5 things guys get wrong shopping for jewelry
Even though the topic of sex is splashed across every form of media, when someone brings the question to a session they usually ask it with a great deal of trepidation in their voice.
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This is because there's a big taboo around admitting that you're struggling in the bedroom. And yet here's a secret that the mainstream media doesn't tell you: nearly every couple that has been together more than a couple of years and is past the honeymoon stage struggles with sex at some point in their relationship.
We have men and women with different hormone levels, different needs, different expectations. We have early abandonment or rejection wounds that are easily triggered around sex. We have a host of false beliefs that plague partners around the topic of sex. So you see the potential for conflict in this area is big.
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Most people also don't know the truth about what creates great sex. The popular message says that great sex is a function of technique and frequency, but this is a cultural lie. The truth is that great sex is a function of connection, first with yourself and then with your partner. In other words, when you feel alive inside your own skin and connected to your partner's essence, then you can meet each other sexually in a way that will feel fulfilling for both of you.
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