Once upon a time, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You strolled hand in hand stealing kisses in shadowy places. He snuggled close to hold you on the couch. He planned dates, surprised you with gifts and texted you with naughty innuendos.
In those days, love was so easy. Chemistry ruled the day and starry eyed, you dreamed of the future you were sure was destined for you as a couple.
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Fast forward 5 years.
Valentine’s day is here and now that the original heat, fire and chemistry are long ago forgotten, you and your sweetheart have settled into life. Children may have arrived on the scene or your two careers may be absorbing a big chunk of your time. Economic worries and aging parents might be pulling at your heart.
Things have changed between you and your man and you are not happy about it, right?
If you are like most of the women who contact me every day about their lackluster love lives, I bet your life is scheduled in lines and columns on a spread sheet. Did you know that this manic need to organize your time is part of the masculine energy that has been running your life?
More true than ever before, as women are stepping up to match men in earning power, being feminine is often viewed as being weak. Let me tell you a little secret, nothing could be farther from the truth. There is nothing more powerful than a woman in touch with her inner sparkle.
That sparkle, the shining light in the core of your being is leading you, whether you are aware of it or not, to the truth of who you are. Your masculine hard working self is important and you need it but unless you know how to access your femininity, your man will see you as a friend or buddy but not as a lover.
If you are living like roommates and you long for the days when you couldn’t get enough of each other, here is a plan just for you.
1. Planning: Everything is on your Daytimer, right? Is your love life? Probably not. Just as you plan your day or week, it is critical that you schedule time to nurture your relationship.
Some times my clients complain that this takes the romance out and I stop them in their tracks with this question: “How’s it working for you?” Dr. Phil asks that question all the time. If you are not getting enough romance, why not try scheduling, it can't get you less romance than you have now, can it?
2. Prioritize: Once you schedule “Romance Time” on your calendar, treat it as you would the most important business meeting of your career. - No cancelling no matter what. Commit to creating a new connection with your man. Even if all you do is sit on the couch and watch a movie, scheduling that as Romance Time on your calendar sets an intention and that intention changes everything.
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Next: Three more steps to help rekindle the flame...
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