Everyone knows February is the month of LOVE….but what if you are still haunted by your Ex? Over the years, I have watched my clients, friends and even strangers suffer through special holiday times so hooked into their past dramas that LOVE seems to disappear.…so I have a question for you?
Who is responsible for your feeling loved and respected?
Don’t answer too quickly. Take a breath and go deep. Could you have delegated the care of your heart to someone who is no longer with you? Are you blaming yourself or him for the failings of your lost love?
If you answer yes, don’t despair. I know what it is like to mistakenly place responsibility for my happiness squarely on the shoulders of someone else and I also know how to reclaim my magnificence and today I know my value.
Why is it important to extricate yourself from the past while maintaining respect for your Ex? Simple. Respect is a gift only you can give aWord Count: 1055
nd allows you to step into your future gracefully. But how can you respect someone one who has let you down or broken your heart?
Now that the bond is broken and he has moved on, your ability to regroup and rebuild your self esteem will go much faster if you appreciate the good and the bad that your Ex brought into your life. Yes, even the BAD.
The dictionary defines respect as holding in high esteem and honor. If your Ex has behaved badly, you might think you are excused from respecting him. Not so fast, another meaning of respect is to refrain from intruding on or interfering.
If you are imposing yourself into his world by holding on to his offenses, of course you cannot hold him in high esteem and honor. Respect for an Ex is doable when you see it as a withdrawal of your attention. As you refrain from “pushing” your energy into his world, you are being respectful.
Sure it hurt when he “rejected” you by breaking up but I bet you anything that you got so involved with him and his life that you have taken all the focus off your wonderful self. It is time for YOU! Here is a short Self Respect quiz to check it out:
1. When is the last time you congratulated yourself for completing an important project or do you always see what you didn’t get done?
2. Do you notice when you are tired and stop to nurture yourself or are you driven to manic activity with no rest?
3. Are you an over achiever pushing yourself constantly and never feeling good enough?
4. Do you compare yourself to others and see yourself as less than they are?
5. Are you stuck blaming him for your low self esteem?
In other words, do you respect, love and totally accept yourself?
If you don’t treat yourself well, no one else will either. You teach others how to respect you by how you respect yourself.
So ask yourself, “Am I willing to find the roots of my lack of self respect?” If the answer is yes, you will find clues in life patterns that started in childhood. I know, I know, there is nothing new about looking into your childhood, but here’s a new twist.