ProConnect

10 Hidden Ways An Ex Stays Embedded In Our Lives

By , ,

stuck together
Free yourself from the trappings of an old relationship.
An expert list of the subtle ways we stay intertwined with an ex.

5) You have co-mingled accounts — I've not only heard clients say this, at one point I even said it myself: "Oh, it doesn't really matter that we aren't legally divorced yet — we both know we're done and have moved on." Wrong. It does matter. It's closure on another level, one that officially marks an end to one part of your life and endorses a new beginning. 5 Ways To Make Your Marriage More Important Than Money

Make the time, do the paperwork, get legally divorced. Believe me, you will feel different when you hold those papers in your hand. It may have made financial sense to be on the same calling plan when you were a couple, but saving $35 per month isn't financial saavy, it's a way to keep connection with your ex.

More from YourTango: 3 Tips To Soul-To-Soul Connection

We're financially bound. Shared mortgages, joint debts and investments, income tax return and vehicle payments — having the ex involved in financial matters keeps his/her presence alive in your mind and life. Worst still, things could turn stressful if he doesn't do his part in meeting financial obligations. Take the steps now to divide and clean up the mess as best as possible; autonomy means financial autonomy, too.

6) Asking for advice or help — If the only person you can think of to solve a problem or move a heavy box is your ex, you may be looking for ways to stay connected. Google is a modern day miracle for answers to even the most complex problems, and if a box is heavy or furniture needs to be moved, there are other people who could help. 10 Tips For Surviving A Breakup

7) Keeping old photos — Do you still have pictures of the two of you displayed in your home or on your computer screensaver? Pictures stimulate desire and tug at your heart, causing you to reminisce about what was and could have been. They may cause you to weaken and reach out or keep you emotionally tied to the past. If you want to move forward, get rid of them pronto!

8) Visiting places you know your ex visits — If you find yourself frequenting those old familiar places or continually driving by to see if their car is in the parking lot, you may need to break-up with your ex. Finding new hang outs is a good way to meet new people. It's also a considerate gesture to spare your ex the discomfort of someday running into you once you're with somebody new.

9) Refusing to cooperate amicably with details of separation — Withholding items or refusing to cooperate amicably with details of separation can be a great way to stay in touch. Sometimes negative communication feels better than no communication and may be a way to fool yourself into believing you're over your ex, when maybe you're being obstinate because the truth is, you're not. 

10) Living in the same house — Whatever the reasons, from financial convenience, to kids, to legal headaches, when someone is still living in the same house with their ex, it's time for a breakup8 Signs You Need To Break Up With Your Ex

More from YourTango: Laugh Your Way To The Altar: How Having Fun Will Bring You Love

If you are engaging in any of these activities you may now have a better understanding of why you are still intertwined with your ex. There's no better time than today to master your mind and make a commitment to step out of stuck!

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Sherri Nickols

Relationship Coach

Sherri Nickols

Sexy and Sparkling after 40 launched in April!

5 Sizzling Secrets to Sparkle!

Check out my articles for more tips

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Empowering Women, Emptiness, Life Transitions
Advanced Member

Faith Deeter

Author

Faith Deeter, MFT

You make a difference!  

www.faithdeeter.com

Upcoming Workshops/Events

Location: Lompoc, CA
Credentials: MFT
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Life Management, Parenting
Other Articles/News by Sherri Nickols, Faith Deeter:

Bored Of Sex? Here's The Surprising Missing Key To Better S-E-X!

By

Fox News recently shared the findings of a survey conducted to determine what factors in a relationship are most often responsible for bedroom boredom. Want to have a peek at the results? Any number of factors can contribute to a couple getting a little bored with their bedroom activities: stress, life changes, busy schedules and more. And even with an ... Read more

8 Ways To Help Your Children Through Divorce

By

With divorce rates in America topping over 50%, the sad truth is that many parents will be faced with telling their children they are getting divorced. Divorce can have negative effects on children, but based on how it is handled, divorce can also have the potential of making family situations better. Kids are smart. Because the relationship has likely already ... Read more
Recent Expert Posts
Flirty Talk

7 Reasons Why You Have a Fear of Love

Dr. Martha Tara Lee shares 7 reasons you have fear about love and 3 truths you can take on board.

Summer Couple

Ditch Your Need for Certainty: Cultivate These Nine Traits

Sometimes we find ourselves on the precipice of a decision and become paralyzed. We hesitate ...

Smooches

The Least & Most Open-Minded Cities In Online Dating

Wondering if your city is open-minded when it comes to online dating? Check out this data from Zoosk

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS