In Part One of The Elusive Female Orgasm, I described some basic solo skills that can get you started on the path to orgasmic pleasure. The same skills that can get you to one ecstatic peak can also dramatically expand your orgasmic capacity.
To learn or expand your orgasm-ability, you may want to start with your own self-pleasure. Your solo-sex is your foundational learning laboratory. After you figure out what works for you, you can share your discoveries with your intimate partners. But, like learning to play the piano, it’s best to start solo and then move to duets.
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- Say Yes to Yourself
Give yourself permission to feel more, do more, explore and go further, deeper and wilder than you ever have. Free your mind and the rest will come along.
When playing with your new skills, resistance, fear, anxiety and propriety will likely arise. Fend them off by repeatedly giving yourself permission to feel all of the pleasure you’re capable of and to be a wildly free sexual being.
Give yourself permission, over and over, to release, to let go of inhibitions and to push yourself into new territory. Say, “Yes” to pleasure, “Yes” to getting wilder, “YES” to going further than you thought you could. When you start to orgasm, don’t let limiting beliefs stop you. Say, “Yes” to allowing yourself to keep going, and you will.
- Touch Yourself All Over
Treat yourself to the luxury of your own sweet touch. Connect to your entire body in a variety of delightful ways. Take your time exploring the feel of your skin and the sensations of pleasure. Add some wonderfully smelling massage oil and rub, caress and slide over your silky sensual surface. Be your own great lover and treat yourself to touch in the exquisite way you so richly deserve.
When you do arrive at your very own delicious genitals, explore all of the wonderful territory, tracing each contour, investigating every little nook, caressing each delicate cranny. There’s no right way to play with yourself, so just take your time and feel how it feels. When you find a stroke you like, repeat it. When you discover a move that moves you, do more of it!
- Shake Your Booty
Rocking your hips is the basic mammal mating motion, so utilize that ancient pathway and pump your pelvis. Imagine your spine is a snake and undulate away. Even a small pelvic tilting motion will activate a basic sex reflex, so rock and roll your booty to enhance your turn-on and increase your climax. Pump it up, baby! Let your thrusting animal out and you’ll propel your orgasm sky-high.
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