Self-proclaimed commitment-phobe finally admits why it pays to be in a relationship.
I am a recovering commitment-phobe as a result of being raised by a single mother who was physically abused by my father. My parents ended up getting divorced, and, as you can imagine, that experience didn't make me want to jump into a relationship immediately.
I have fought this one tooth and nail, trust me. I have always wondered, "What’s the point? Why is it necessary to be in a relationship? It’s so much more work to be with someone." When I am alone, I can watch whatever I want, throw my clothes all over my apartment, and be on my own time schedule. Freedom is one of my top priorities in life, so why not stay in this cocoon of freedom and be invulnerable to pain? Seems like a good plan to me, right?
I have fought this one tooth and nail, trust me. And, in an effort to figure out the elusive subject of love, I have made it my business to study its benefits. Well, after having banged my head against the wall and researching up the yin yang, I have found that the benefits of love far exceed the costs. So, here you have it, folks: the top three reasons it pays to hang your "single 'til I die" hat, and choose to be in a relationship.
#1 LOVE HELPS YOU LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
Now, I know this might sound kind of “woo woo” right now, but bare with me. In my relentless search of truth, I have discovered that Einstein was right about the fact that everything is energy. On a quantum physics atomic level, everything consists of just atoms vibrating at a certain frequency. Fear and guilt reside at being some of the lowest or slowest frequencies, and love being the absolute highest or fastest.
So, through my extremely geeky findings, it has become clear that if anyone wants to experience life to the fullest, they absolutely must fight to experience the highest of all experiences, which is love.
On this geeky, loving atomic level, not only is there a sheer joy and happiness, but there is a power involved. A Harvard study showed that people who are in love have more power to persuade and manifest as a result of this higher frequency of vibrational energy that coasts them through. Love not only makes you feel good, but it make you a kind of a powerhouse.
#2 LOVE IS YOUR GREATEST TEACHER
Love is truly our best teacher. I am a quote freak (which is why I wrote a quote book—come to my book signing this Saturday), and here is a quote from Rumi to prove it: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” This quote really captures what type of personal process one must go through to be ready and available for true love. It’s not like you just pick someone and it works out fantastically; it’s a process of evolution that you go through.
Furthermore, let’s just be honest: sometimes we have to go through a bunch of bad picks to get a good one. This is often because our souls attract people and experiences into our lives that will force us to evolve into who we truly want to be. Juicy, right? So, when you are having gnarly relationship problems and ugly break-ups, just thank your soul for giving you what you need to become more of who you truly are. You are shedding, and it’s a beautiful thing. Just make sure you go through the spiritual transformation process by becoming more self-aware instead of just repeating the same patterns.
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that we will continually have the same pain and experiences until we have learned what we need to know in order to move forward to a new experience. Have you ever had those friends who are constantly complaining about the same kind of pain over and over again? They attract a new partner with a new face, but the same pattern repeats itself? Yeah, don’t be that person.
Here’s another quote to help you see how love is more of a spiritual experience, and not so much tangible: “You practice loving God by loving another human," stated Olivia Harrison. Boom!