We all make resolutions, and then get pissed at ourselves for failing. Here's why you might fail.
"When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it." - Jim Rohn
I am always asking my social media followers what their New Year Resolutions are. Inevitably I always get people who say, "I don't set them anymore because they never happen." Or, "My New Year's resolution is to never set any New Year's resolutions." I know they can be cliché, so some of us rebels have a resistance to them (what a surprise, right?), but at the risk of sounding trite I must ask — doesn't everyone want a fresh start sometimes?
I mean come ON. We have all had stuff go "wrong" or had horrific and painful experiences in our lives, so the idea of a fresh start really brings a beautiful newness into our lives. A fresh energy, an excitement around what is possible even for the most notorious cynics. So, I figured I'd address this age old issue of New Year Resolutions and why they do not work, along with some tips on how to make sure they do. And just as a warning, I will be totally and completely overdoing it on Jim Rohn quotes because he was the best type of rebel and his wisdom applies to this subject.
#1: You aren’t willing to do what it takes to get your new resolution.
A lot of people say they want a certain something whether it's a hot bod, a bangin' career, or an amazing relationship. The problem is that they aren't willing to do what it takes to have this wonderful new thing. Often times when you want to upgrade some area of your life, that requires discomfort and growing pain to some degree. In the case of a hot bod, you have go to the gym and feel the burn, or withdraw from that burger fries and a coke you love so much. For a bangin’ career we may need to work harder, look for a new job, or do some deep soul searching to figure out our purpose. Again, this requires discomfort and some pain to some degree. It's annoying to look for jobs and go on interviews. It's very uncomfortable and takes courage and risk to put yourself out there. Not everyone wants to do that part. For an amazing relationship you may need to dig up some fears you have around love, or go to couples therapy. You will DEFinitely need to be vulnerable, and again not everyone wants to experience this type of work.
So here's the deal: Resolutions often don't work because people want the carrot or the bait but they don't want to have to do the work or experience the discomfort necessary to earn the bait. A great way to remedy this is to learn to love the burn! Know that it's a part of life and to get REALLY cliché about it I'll say, "No pain, no gain." Booyah!
And in the brilliant words of Jim Rohn: "We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment."
#2: You aren't willing to evolve in order to have your new resolution.
Often times when you are going after a goal or looking to up-level your life in some way, it will require you to become someone different on the path to this new place. It will require you to change. Maybe you need to change the friends you are hanging out with or maybe you need to change your daily habits. Whatever it may be, some people just do NOT like change. The truth is, you must evolve in order to have experience or be something new. When I went from single and fabulous to in a loving and happy relationship I immediately needed to do a few tough things and become someone new. I needed to:
- Stop being too cool for school and admit I wanted and needed love in my life.
- I needed to allow myself to be fully "seen" and open up in a very vulnerable way.
- I needed to learn not to leave every time things got tough and really stick through hard topics and discussions. I became much more comfortable with discussions that could look like conflict in order to stay with someone long term.
In short, I became someone new. The old Shereen would not be able to be in a relationship because she was too short sighted and impulsive. I literally evolved into a new person in order to have love in my life. This is what you need to do too when you want something new in your life.
I will shamelessly validate this fact by using TWO Jim Rohn quotes ;)
- "The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it."
- "Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become."
Damn, that Jim is good! So the point here is to get more comfortable with the changes, you need to make and the natural evolution that occurs as you go after these resolutions. If you want to stay the same, then forget about setting a resolution. It won't work.
# 3: Your environment doesn’t support you in getting your new resolution.
This one is a tough one for a lot of people because just like in the last tip, YOU may need to evolve and change in order to get a resolution. In this tip, your environment may need to change. In order to go after something and get it, you need to stick to it. In order to stick to something you need accountability and support. In order to get accountability and support you need NEW people in your life and new systems in place that hold you up even when things get tough.
This is why Weight Watchers works. They meet once a week. Not once a month, not once a year, and not not once whenever it's convenient. They meet ONCE A WEEK. They weigh you in to see where your progress is, there are other people who have a common intention supporting you, and you immerse yourself in this new environment to support you in your lifestyle change. This is the type of accountability and support people need when they are creating a new habit for themselves and going after a goal. This is why you often need a coach or a mastermind group to help you on your way.
For those of you who are looking for more support in your resolutions PLEASE come to Awaken The Rebel Live. It is my live annual 2-day event that I hold in Los Angeles, CA to ensure you upgrade instead of feeling regret that you never made it happen. With that, I leave you with a final quote:
"The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized – never knowing." Jim Rohn
Thank you for reading and if you want more information about Awaken The Rebel Live you can check it out here or you can email me at Shereen@AwakenTheRebel.com. Please comment and let me know what one of your New Year resolutions is, I'd love to know! Here's to you and all your resolutions coming true.
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