Here’s a great example:
Susan was having a miserable workday. Stan wanted to surprise Susan with flowers. Her favorite tulips were out of season. So Stan downloaded a picture of a tulip bouquet, blew it up on his computer, printed it, pasted it to cardboard, cut it out in the shape of the bouquet, and left it in a vase with a sweet note where Susan would see it.
What made this goofy cardboard bouquet meaningful to the sentimental Susan is that she values romantic gestures while the pragmatic Stan finds them a bit silly. She would have appreciated any flowers, but it was Stan going outside his comfort zone and doing something “so Susan” that made this an emotional foreplay bull’s eye. Stan not only scored a truckload of Frequent Foreplay Miles, but that night, instead of going to sleep worried about her business, Susan drifted off in the comfort of Stan’s arms and the afterglow of sex that was both physically and emotionally passionate.
Imagine how emotionally intimate and sexually passionate your relationship would be if you both made emotional foreplay a top priority. Ask yourself every day how, according to your partner’s Foreplay Navigator, you can make his or her day a little nicer.
If your emotional intimacy could use some help getting back on track, here’s what I’d like you to do:
To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.
Right now, I want you to:
Kick your I-love-my-honey feelings into high gear by listing five "wow!" relationship experiences. Here are suggested starters:
“A favorite memory of a time with my sweetheart is . . .”
“I felt appreciated (or loved or supported) when my sweetheart . . .”
“I wanted to shout for joy when my sweetheart . . .”
Don’t think too hard. Jot down what first comes to mind. Savor each positive emotion. Then relive them with your sweetheart, preferably while cuddled together.
Within 7 days I want you to:
Kick your sweetheart’s loving feelings into high gear by doing an over-the-top act of emotional foreplay, i.e., surprise your sweetie with something so completely unexpected and pleasing that he or she will beam with joy for days.
By the end of the challenge I want you to:
Sustain those loving feelings by committing to engage in everyday emotional foreplay that sustains emotional intimacy and leads to truly awesome, passionate, eyes-rolling-back-in-my-head sex.