Kiss Holiday Stress Good-Bye by "Doing" Your Sweetheart

By

Kiss Holiday Stress Good-Bye by "Doing" Your Sweetheart
Holiday stress? Keep it at bay by keeping your sweetheart at the top of your to "do" list.

The holidays. There’s so much to do! The decorations, the shopping, the tree, the gifts, the gifts, the gifts (thank goodness for Internet shopping), planning the meals, figuring out what to wear to the parties, making up the guest room for relatives…the list goes on. In this run-yourself ragged season, it’s easier than ever to back-burner your sweetie and your relationship. The one thing we are most likely to inadvertently cross off the list when things are super busy is that curl-up-on-the-couch shoot-the-breeze half hour with our partner. Sex? Forget about it. By the time you hit the sheets, you’re exhausted from hauling in and wrapping all those gifts, not to mention cleaning tinsel, pine needles and tiny shreds of wrapping paper for the hundredth time. Your body, your mind, and your attitude are DONE.

The holidays are stressful, no doubt about it. And there are a zillion ways to deal with stress but, just between you and me, the most fun way to deal with stress is “doing” your sweetheart, if you know what I mean. Okay, I’m kidding around a little bit here, but why is it that the one thing we probably need the most—the comfort of our partner—is always the first thing to go? You see, it might look like honoring the intimacy in our relationship is about someone else, or another thing you just shouldn’t neglect and risk losing (and this goes for friendships and family too, right)? But the truth is that these are the things that FUEL us. Coffee with my sweetie is vitally important to my good-mood attitude and my get-stuff-done productivity! Sex last night helps me take a deep breath today and smile when I’m tempted to snap at a slow sales clerk because I’ve got 27 more stops to make. A few days without tenderness and I’m a surly bear.

When I am standing in line, waiting to pay for the egg nog and watching grown men and women grouch and growl like little kids, I want to ask, “Did you get a good hug from your partner today?” I want to send them straight home to get an attitude adjustment by “doing” their sweetheart. I want to tell them, “Go ahead. Be selfish. Do your sweetheart. Do if for you!”

And, while you’re at it, cash in some of the good will (what I call Frequent Foreplay Miles) you’ve banked all year long by asking for help. If you just ask, there’s a darned good chance your sweetie would be happy to pick up the groceries or stop at Toys-R-Us for the Barbie Monopoly you need for the local toy drive. Take that time for yourself. Take a bubble bath, do your nails, or buy yourself the perfect gift.

The holidays SHOULD be a time of joyful intimacy. Keeping your sweetheart at the top of your to "do” list allows “should” to become reality and that is simply LOVELY.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Shela Dean

Author

Shela Dean Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy http://www.ShelaDean.com http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com http://www.SpeakerShelaDean.com

Location: Richmond, VA
Credentials: JD
Other Articles/News by Shela Dean:

Why An Annulment Doesn't Really Erase Your Marriage

By

Have you ever noticed how many terms we use that come from golf? Something may be "teed up" or "par for the course." My favorite is "mulligan," which is a do-over without penalty. A chance to pretend you didn't screw up and start over. There are times in all of our lives when we wish for a mulligan but is that ever really ... Read more

What Is The Point Of Getting Married?

By

Machu Picchu — mystical epicenter of the Incan civilization. I couldn't imagine a better place in which to commit ourselves to marriage. I had spent months before our trip to Peru fantasizing the moment when my boyfriend Dale and I — touching the sacred stone Intihuatana and embraced by the universe in spiritual harmony — would become ... Read more

Help! My Kids Are Spoiled Brats

By

As a parent, you did everything right. You taught your kids to say please and thank you; you taught them to share their toys and wait their turn in line. So, how did they become such spoiled little monsters? If your precious angels are out of control, you've come to the right place. In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango Expert Shela ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular