"Inconsiderate" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive. "Nice" and "emotional intimacy" go hand-in-hand. KNOW YOURSELF. Okay, this is a tough one but I promise that the more you know about yourself, the better partner you will be. You'll be able to change what's not working and you'll be less likely to project your self-perception onto your partner. Examples: 1. If you bicker over every decision, big or small, perhaps it's not because your partner is argumentative, but because you are excessively competitive and need to make a change. 2. If you hear constant criticism, perhaps the problem is your self-esteem. If your sweetie says, "The rice is salty," and you hear, "You're a terrible cook," it's time to work on your self-perception instead of complaining that your sweetheart is critical. "Ignorance" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive. "Awareness" and "emotional intimacy" go hand-in-hand. BE GENEROUS AND FORGIVING. It's inevitable that your sweetheart will hurt and disappoint you, sometimes through thoughtlessness and sometimes only through the filter of your self-perception. Guess what? The flip side is true, too. Be generous and be forgiving if for no other reason than to garner the same from your sweetheart when you screw up. "Unforgiving" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive. "Generous" and "emotional intimacy" go hand-in-hand. In summary, the relationship crown jewel of emotional intimacy is achieved by laser-beam focus on being, doing, and saying those things that build and sustain it. Start today to have the emotional intimacy that is the hallmark of a truly great relationship.
Shela Dean Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy http://www.ShelaDean.com http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com http://www.SpeakerShelaDean.com
By Shela DeanHave you ever noticed how many terms we use that come from golf? Something may be "teed up" or "par for the course." My favorite is "mulligan," which is a do-over without penalty. A chance to pretend you didn't screw up and start over. There are times in all of our lives when we wish for a mulligan but is that ever really ... Read more
By Shela DeanMachu Picchu — mystical epicenter of the Incan civilization. I couldn't imagine a better place in which to commit ourselves to marriage. I had spent months before our trip to Peru fantasizing the moment when my boyfriend Dale and I — touching the sacred stone Intihuatana and embraced by the universe in spiritual harmony — would become ... Read more
By Shela DeanAs a parent, you did everything right. You taught your kids to say please and thank you; you taught them to share their toys and wait their turn in line. So, how did they become such spoiled little monsters? If your precious angels are out of control, you've come to the right place. In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango Expert Shela ... Read more
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