Darren could be described as a man’s man. Julie referred to him as her Marlboro Man, just the kind of guy she liked. He was active in sports and Julie speculated that he was the guy who always ended up as the team captain. When she made that comment, Darren went quiet for a moment, and looked at Julie as if he were engaged in an internal debate. She raised her eyebrows as if to say, “What?” Darren kissed her fingertips and then began telling the story of how, when he was in the Army going through basic training, he was chosen as the platoon leader. A couple of guys in the platoon took a disliking to Darren and one night filled his shoes with human excrement, discovered by Darren only when he went to put his shoes on. Threats against Darren resulted in his being segregated and protected from the rest of the platoon until the situation was resolved. “So much,” he concluded, “for being the Marlboro Man,” and then said, “I’ve never told anyone about that before.” In telling this story, Darren let Julie know that there was much more to him than the Marlboro Man exterior that she found so attractive. He took a big emotional risk but, oh boy, did it pay off. Julie was so touched that Darren had entrusted her with this story, she fell more madly in love with Darren, vowed to always be worthy of his trust, and knew that Darren was worthy of her trust as well. It was a moment, for both of them, of the kind of intimacy that is the hallmark of a truly great love. Trust to the tenth power is what makes both physical and emotional intimacy possible. To give it and to get it, get naked. To learn more about emotional intimacy, read my book Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy, available through Amazon and my website http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com
Shela Dean Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy http://www.ShelaDean.com http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com http://www.SpeakerShelaDean.com
By Shela DeanHave you ever noticed how many terms we use that come from golf? Something may be "teed up" or "par for the course." My favorite is "mulligan," which is a do-over without penalty. A chance to pretend you didn't screw up and start over. There are times in all of our lives when we wish for a mulligan but is that ever really ... Read more
By Shela DeanMachu Picchu — mystical epicenter of the Incan civilization. I couldn't imagine a better place in which to commit ourselves to marriage. I had spent months before our trip to Peru fantasizing the moment when my boyfriend Dale and I — touching the sacred stone Intihuatana and embraced by the universe in spiritual harmony — would become ... Read more
By Shela DeanAs a parent, you did everything right. You taught your kids to say please and thank you; you taught them to share their toys and wait their turn in line. So, how did they become such spoiled little monsters? If your precious angels are out of control, you've come to the right place. In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango Expert Shela ... Read more
Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.
- 10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts
- 10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business
- Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts
- Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session
- Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do