In fifth grade the title of our social studies text book was People Need People. When I consider all the lesson I’ve learned about friendship over the years the title might well have read Girlfriends Need Girlfriends. Because most women are polite and loving they rarely say things that seem like a collective slam on the sisterhood, but the truth will set us all free. And the truth is, at their finest women are nurturing, resilient, warm, brilliant beings that can support each other through anything. At their worst women are overly sensitive, back-biting , mean, and downright vicious .
Then why do we continue to seek new friendships out and maintain old ones when these relationships can exasperate us at times? Because these relationships also provide a certain fabric to our lives that our lovers, spouses, and family members simply can’t.
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There is something informal, yet sacred about unburdening your soul over lunch with a friend. I recall a looking forward to a conversation with a dear friend who lives in Australia for over a month. She was the only one I felt safe sharing my secret with it. I knew she would understand it and hold in a safe place for me. We don’t connect often, nor do we need to. It’s that kind of bond. Do you have a gal pal you can just pick up with no matter where you left off? Do you have a gal pal that you simply enjoy shopping with once a month? Or a friend from your childhood that you continue to pal around with from time to time?
All these relationship are valuable to your life and emotional well-being. Whether they are life-long ,or budding connections, we’d all do well to maintain our relationship bridges .In this world of changing fates and fortunes one never knows when the need to cross over one may arise. I wish someone had shared what I’m about to share with you earlier in the game. The ups and downs that are a natural part of friendship would have been far less upsetting .
I hope they make a difference for you.
No matter what anyone tells you, there are three simple levels of friendship shared between women.
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1. Level 1 ; Tecofshops- (pronounced ‘ teh-cough-shops) The word is derived by combining the words tea, coffee, and shopping. These are the women that we’re not especially close to, but we can spending time over tea, coffee, shopping, having nails done, and movies. These are functional relationships because we have a chance to be social , get out, and stay connect ed. For our own reason we choose to keep our friendship with these women on the light side.
2. Level 2; Susan B. Anthony’s- These are women that we have forged some kind of bond with over time. We share a lengthy or short history with them. They can be childhood friends or women we’ve met in recent years. We’re more intimate with these women. They’ve often been inside our homes for dinner and we connect on many levels and share common interest. We would feel comfortable asking them for a small favor, like borrowing a book or picking us up to carpool for an event.