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Madonna Buys Whore a Turkey Sandwich... Truth Revealed!

Sex

Women come in more flavors than sweet or sour...We Need to get over the double standard.

“I want a lady in the streets and a freak under the sheets.”
 

That’s what an interviewee said when asked to describe his ideal love match on a popular Dallas call-in radio show.
 

After that the conversation morphed into a commentary on the virtues of women with “no virtues” at all. I turned the radio off when the third male caller declared, “It’s just tough to find a good girl these days. They ‘d all rather parade around like whores wearing caked on make-up and stiletto heels. I’m hold out for an ‘au natuuuuraaaal’ good girl!”
 

Perhaps that was part of his problem. He was waiting for a “girl”, when all the women had left the station eons ago.
 

Listening to those sound bites left me wondering, is the Madonna-whore complex thing ever going to just crawl into a dark cave and die?
 

Chances are I’ll never get that wish crossed off my list.
 

But I have another wish, that’s a not so distant second….
 

…. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for a conversation between the revered Madonna and the sullied Whore.
 

I mean, what if Madonna invited Whore out for a turkey sandwich at a New York Café? How would that conversation go? Would they be able to shed more light on the reasons both men and women continue to cling to this complex with such fervor, that they often suppress , in some cases deny their sexual nature all together? Could they produce an answer as to why grown women continue to play into these nonsense roles in their relationships?
 

We’ve been relying on our resident expert Freud to explain this phenomena far too long. He maintains that the Madonna –whore complex is caused by oedipal fear that manifest when a man becomes conflicted as he experiences warm feelings from women that remind him of his relationship with his Mom. In order to cope with his anxiety, he divides women into two separate and distinct categories, 1) the ones he can, like, admire, and marry, 2) and the ones he can feel and fulfill his strong sexual desire with.
 

I’m not knocking Freud. He may have something there.
 

But…Really?
 

Men and women still can’t get a handle on this?
 

Meanwhile back at the café , Madonna and whore are engaged in an enlightening conversation over a turkey sub:
 

Madonna laments, “I often laugh when I over hear men talking about me. They think I’m the ultimate Miss Goodie Two Shoes, so they run around at their bachelor parties trying to get a last taste of the cream filled, blonde, jumping out of that cake, in preparation to lead a respectable boring life with me. And more than a few lie to supposedly work late and meet up with the likes of you. They’re under the impression that only women like you can satisfy those lusty urges…If the only knew what I was capable of in the sack on one of my off days no less! But they’ve boxed me into this role so tight, it’s all I can do to sit here in a floral print dress and knit baby booties.”
 

“Welll… as the biggest Whore that ever roamed the northern hemisphere, I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt, you’ve got it easy sistah! Your back may be against the wall, but how would you like to have your back on a mattress and your legs in the air for this damn long? Waiting for the next Tom, Dick, or Harry…or hairy dick to come along? They give me no credit! I’m just a one dimensional figure to them, not capable of much more than a cheap thrill. I use to enjoy long walks in the park, reading Shakespeare and baking cookies for the local PTA ,before they cast me in this role for an eternity. I'm only allowed one option. It's whore or nothing! ”
 

“As the more pure between us, I’d like the last word on this subject! And besides I bought you that sandwich!
 

The fact that a so many man prescribe to this outdated mode of thinking , is disturbing. But I never imagined that so many women would continue to victimize themselves in this day and age. I wish they would liberate themselves once and for all and realize there is no Madonna or Whore within them; only, wives, single women, mothers, workers, friends, sisters, dancers, lovers, teachers… all trying to live, love, and be accepted for who they are.
 

Instead of men advertising their desire for woman who know how to be ladies in the streets and freaks between the sheets… how about a simple call for women who are respectful , kind, and confident in their sexuality?
 

I hope they figure this out soon, because I’m getting tired of these all night prayer vigils!”
 

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