In order to attract healthy relationships, you must feel worthy of having one.
It doesn't matter how it's sliced, we teach people how to treat us. If you find yourself lingering in a toxic relationship, complaining about how poorly you're being treated, it's time for a reality check. And no matter how painful... the truth has the power to set us free.
A powerful question each of us can ask ourselves as we enter 2012 is"What am I telling the world I'm worth by my actions, thoughts, and behavior?"
And true self worth has nothing to do with how much money you make. One of the most sharp, self-assured, women I ever met lived in the housing projects of Cabrini-Green. She left Alabama when she was a small girl and made a new life for herself in Illinois. When I asked her what would possess a 14 year old girl to pack up and leave her family, I'll never forget her answer, "They always treated me like I was nothing and I knew I was worth a whole lot more, so I walked and never looked back."
If you settle for a lover who is content to lie and cheat on you at the drop of hat; every time he walks in your front door, you are announcing, "It's okay to treat me this way."In turn he or she will do just that. If you continue to allow yourself to be devalued in one-sided friendships, people will be more than happy to take what you have to offer, only to return when you whip out your goody bag again.
It takes courage to break the cycle of toxic relationships, primarily because you have to be ready to accept the fact that healthy relationships may take a while to manifest in your life. Yes! That means you may have to walk the hot coals known as loneliness and self-reflection for a while. You are going to lose people that you thought would be around for the long haul. It will not feel like it's for the better, yet it is.
You can make a declaration to the toxic people in your life without saying any words at all. Stop pouring into people that pour nothing into you. How do you do that? Simply stop. Simply stop extending the extras. Simply stop breaking your neck to return phone calls. Simply stop trying to make sense out of nonsense. Turn off your phone, get a new number, get a new address, or get a new attitude.
Whatever you decide to do - break the cycle of toxic relationships in 2012 before they break you.