Boring Love is the path to Relationhsip Happiness
When I was 19 years old I remember looking at a couple in the mall, walking hand in hand. She was a Plain Jane and he was a Chubby Charlie. As they gleefully passed me by on the escalator I secretly wondered, “What could such a boring looking couple be so darn happy about?” I felt bad for them and wondered had they ever known the kind of pulsating excitement that can only be delivered compliments of a bad boy or girl.
Back in those days if a guy didn’t have an edge, I wasn’t interested.
Fast forward 10 years…. After I had been sufficiently cut by enough of those razor sharp edges and thankfully came to my senses, I realized the exuberant edge, keep me on my toes guessing, energy, I was drawn to was drowning me at the same time. All the movies I had watched lead me to believe that passion and sparks were the path to a blissful relationship. I mistook the roller coaster of emotions I was feeling as a sign that “this relationship is alive!”. And I kept rolling with it… straight into the ditch of depression, self-doubt, and anxiety. It was as if I was on an unending hamster wheel trying to make sense of nonsense and ending up in the same place again and again.
On more than one occasion I found myself scratching my head, asking, “What have I done to deserve this? I’m a nice girl, why can’t I find a nice guy.”
The answering was staring me right in the face… well the mirror to be exact.
“I had found plenty of nice guys and when I did, I began to run a script in my mind… NICE IS NICE, BUT OH! SO! BORING…” If there wasn’t something to argue about or that undescribable sense of engaging tension was not present by the third or fourth date, I declared the man BORING and moved on.
Then as fate would have it, one of the ‘ baddest’ boys of all pulled the rug straight from underneath my feet, after I discovered he was cheating with the lovely woman, I thought was my trusted friend and business partner.
That was it. I began to move in a new direction and truly give the nice guys I met a chance, if they were willing to do the same.
About six years after I got my head screwed on straight, I met a prince, who is now my husband. He is deliciously BORING, normal, and kind. Make no mistake BORING LOVE can rock your world in millions of ways. Below I’ve highlighted the top seven.
1. Boring Love is consistent: One of the things that makes bad boys and girls so bad for us, is their innate inability to be consistent. Boring Love calls when he says he will and come through in a pinch. When you open the door to Boring Love slip into a warm inviting bath that used to feel like scalding water. It’s impossible to ever feel safe in a relationship when moods, plans, and commitments, change as quickly as the weather.
2. Boring Love is always open to excitement: Say what you want, but boring guys and gals are among the most adventurous on the planet. Why? Because they crave excitement as a lifestyle supplement. One Boring man I know recently surprised his girlfriend with a weekend getaway to Vegas. For no real reason. He just felt like sweeping her off her feet! And I’d like to share what went on in their private sweet, but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Whatever youi've heard about Boring Love in the bedroom is rumor... Boring Love, loves variety, crazy talk and positions, and wants to satisfy you in every way!
3. Boring Love is quiet enough to listen: Boring Love is used to being quiet, so listening is not a problem. Boring Love knows how to keep its mouth shut, hear you out, and offer a soothing back rub. Boring Love is not insecure, and does not need to hear itself talk all the time.
4. Boring Love wants to see you shine: Boring Love does not crave the spotlight, but will willingly share the spotlight if it’s offered. Boring Love wants to see you do your best and is not afraid show and tell you all the ways in which you are wonderful.
5. Boring Love is rooted in trust: Boring Love had a sense of values and understands how hard it is to come by healthy strong relationships. Boring Love works overtime to make sure that you feel rooted in loving relationship that is rooted in trust.
6. Boring Love grows with you: Boring Love is a not a one size fits all love. Boring Love knows that you will change with time, so she’ll shrink and expand to change with you. Boring Love is not interested in rigid rule, rather making sure the team wins- the team you represent together.
7. Boring Love is flexible: Boring love is highly flexible and not interested in arguing with you. When plans change, Boring Love rolls with the punches. Boring Love knows that you will not always be at your best , so when you have tough days and find yourself a bit grumpy.. boring love remembers that two days ago you were sweet as plum, and waits patiently for sanity and calm to be restored.
If you’re looking for sustainable love in your life, and simply must have an element of surprise, thrill, and the unexpected in the mix, sign up for a sky diving class, climb a mountain or go bungee cord jumping… as for a great relationship… I say keep it BORING!