What it does require is curiosity and good listening skills. It helps to know the values that are important to you and to think about the conversations you can have around these values. Preparing like this will help you to really get to know your date and will also help calm your nerves.
Give your date plenty of time to respond to your questions. Allow them time to pause and think, be comfortable with the silences and resist the temptation to talk to fill the quiet. Let your date do the talking.
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Learn to enjoy the art of conversation, learn to savor getting to know someone slowly, and let your relationship evolve gradually. Pretty soon you’ll know that you can have coffee with just about anyone and enjoy it.
Naturally, there is the risk that if you skip the step-by-step, question-by-question communication and jump to a coffee invitation, you’ll be throwing your match an unexpected curveball that they won’t know how to handle.
They may well decline. Then what? Don’t second guess yourself. You shrug and you move on. It’s more about them than you.
They may also put you off. Delaying once is understandable. It could be a sign that your match isn’t truly ready to date. More than once though and it’s time to open your eyes. Think Manti Te’o!
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Sheila Paxton is the founder and creator of Fit4love, the dating coaching program that helps singles find their true love. Are you ready to find true love? Download the free Fit4love Singles Report to find out three secrets to making yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.