When you are clear about who you are and what you want in your relationships, that will come across to others saving you time and angst.
3. Finally, watch out for red flags. When you start to communicate with someone watch for things like:
- Someone pulling at your heartstrings with a profile that reads, "I am widowed and have a young child who needs a father figure."
- Too much information too soon. This could be a lack of boundaries, or rushing to get intimate. The operative phrase for online dating is "Take your time!"
- Lots of "I wants." Look for profiles where the person talks more about what they offer, rather than what they want.
- Complaints about past relationships. If you're hearing these while you're getting-to-know each other, your date hasn't healed, or doesn't have the ability to forgive. These are not positive traits in a long-term partner.
If you've always been attracted to a certain type, make a conscious decision to look for someone with very different characteristics. It may be very uncomfortable at first, but it's likely to give you wonderfully different results.
Be the chooser in your online relationships. Remain objective, and take it slow. There are terrific people out there — if you stay diligent, you'll find them.