How do you stay neutral during your friend's divorce?
By Shazi Rastegar — Written on Jun 03, 2013
4. Don't encourage war. If there is no chance of reconciliation and the divorce proceedings are under way, don't egg on your friend to get the most he/she can. What may seem important to you may not be in your friend's best interest, so with all due respect—butt out. If your friend decides to forego things he/she is legally entitled to in the interest of ending the divorce in a peaceful manner; don't be discouraging. If you really feel your concern is legitimate, ask your friend if they have consulted with their attorney about his/her decision.
5. Don't play attorney. While it can be tempting to advise your friend through the legal aspects of divorce, avoid playing attorney. Providing legal advice based on snippets of stories you've heard from other friends is not helpful. Remember, this isn't an episode of Ally McBeal — this is real life. Decisions made during divorce can impact your friend financially for years to come, so avoid playing attorney and encourage your friend to consult with a professional if you have a legitimate concern.
Avoiding these mistakes will garner you major respect over the long term. Keep in mind that the goal is to make sure your friend is able to move forward and do what is best for him or her, and also, to avoid placing yourself in unfriendly waters. It can be extremely difficult to be a true friend during divorce, so kudos to you for putting in the time and effort during one of the most challenging times in your pal's life.