2. Are we having kids (and if so, when)? The decisions of whether or not to have children can be dealbreakers. So while you may not think it's a big deal to wait another 10 years to have a child, your future spouse may have other plans in mind. And men, don't allow yourself to be in the kind of marriage in which your spouse's gynecologist knows more about her plans to have children than you do. Raise this topic before you get married in order to make sure you're on the same page and avoid future disagreements.
3. What happens when the going gets rough? Marriage isn't all fun and laughter. There are times when you're going to look at your spouse and think, "Why did I marry this person again?" And that's okay. Well, it's okay if you have a plan in place for when things get tough. Create a plan of action for when you've been arguing about something for more than a few days and aren't able to connect and reach a resolution on your own. The last thing you want to do is sweep things under the rug; you have to clear the air and resolve issues as they arise.
So ask your spouse to brainstorm how you plan to resolve differences. Are you going to see a mediator, or maybe try couples counseling? Once you agree on the type of professional to use, do some research together and come up with a list of three to five names that you both agree on. It's easier to create that list when you're not fighting, so make it while things are smooth sailing and file it away for a rainy day.
Whether you've been dating for a few months or a few years, when it's time to pop the question that will tie you together for the rest of your lives, make sure you know your partner's answers to these three questions. If you need assistance addressing these topics, set up a time to meet with a mediator who can guide the conversation and help make sure you're on the same page. Remember, taking the time do this before you walk down the aisle will ensure that you're on the same page and ready to start the next chapter of your lives together.