Many people identify approaching a potential partner as still being one of their biggest fears! In this article, I've decided to use my experience of getting over stage fright, to help you boost your confidence to approach that special person who’s caught your eye!
I will never forget the first time I sang in public. I was put in a position where I was performing in front of an audience of about 120 people. With my old “I’m not Aretha” story running in my mind, and being asked to open the show, I was feeling more than my fair share of nerves! About 10 minutes before I was due on stage I was desperately hoping I’d see my vocal teacher, so she could calm me down. I didn’t. I think someone up there was urging me to learn the lesson for myself and I’m going to share with you the three ways that I managed to centre myself in this completely nerve wrecking scenario so that you can use these techniques next time you feel this way.
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How do I surprise and delight my partner?
I reminded myself that my purpose in singing was to surprise and delight the audience, with more than just my Manolo Blahniks. By taking the focus to the audience and how I could best serve them, I forgot about myself and my lack of Aretha style vocals. When applying this to approaching someone you like, try not to think about “me” and “what must (s)he think?! sh*t!!!!” Instead, think about the other person and how you can say something that would most please them in that moment.
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Fake it til you make it
One of my favourite top tips when you’re lacking confidence is to borrow someone else’s. Remember John Cage in Ally McBeal? Before he was going to go into Court or approach a woman, he’d encapsulate the spirit of Barry White. Mad? Slightly. Did it work? Hell, yes! so next time you're feeling "not-so-confident", try and "borrow" the confidence of someone who really knows what to do and imagine what they would do in the same scenario.
Change your environment
Remember that old trick of imagining everyone in their underwear? Well, it works. It makes the audience seem a lot less scary than just a mass of people. For me personally, I had a think about what environment would make me feel more comfortable, rather than thinking about the audience. In the end, I decided to pretend that I was singing in my car or to the man I love, rather than worrying about the 100+ people there. If you are about to approach someone, remember, that they are just a human being like you and imagine them being absolutely delighted with your approach and it all going smoothly. Imagination is a powerful thing – just remember to use it in the positive and it’ll really boost your chances of success!