If others are going to see your power, you need to own it yourself first.
We all have a power within us! Only when you recognize the extent of your power, will you truly discover how exciting and successful your dating life can be, along with gaining the confidence to become the person you’ve always wanted to become. But to do this, you need to fully understand what power is and, just as importantly, what it isn't.
Possessing and using power isn't about manipulating people or treating them like crap. Power should be a positive thing, for both of you. It's about being a woman/man, it's about being true to yourself, recognizing what you want, being willing to go out and get it, and realizing the effects and nature of the power you hold within you.
If others are going to see your power, you need to own it yourself first. That means developing an attitude that shows people how confident you are, how focused, driven and single-minded you can be. Being firm in your choices and sticking with your decisions is a powerful aphrodisiac to people, and it will also make you feel stronger and more self-assured.
Benefits of recognizing your own power:
1. You'll get the confidence to flaunt yourself.
Accepting your body, flaws and all, will boost your self confidence and allow you to concentrate on the attributes you do like. Whether it's your sparkling eyes, gorgeous silky hair or super long/fit legs, honing in on your assets lets people see the real you and not just the packaging around you.
2. You'll stop chasing dates.
There's nothing more desperate than chasing after a person. Remember, you are in control of your own pleasure, so by recognizing your own power you'll no longer feel the need to force people to notice you—there'll be no need!
3. You'll feel super sexy.
Knowing your own power makes you feel horny and sexy all day long, which shines on the outside, too. Seeing a confident person is a huge turn on for most people. They'll want to know more about the sassy woman/man in front of them, so be prepared to lap up the attention.
4. You'll love yourself and own your sexual pleasure.
Your sexual pleasure is in your own hands. Knowing your own power allows you to dictate the pace, speed and nature of your sex life, without the usual pressures that come with dating. Don't want to sleep with your date just yet? Then just say so without guilt. Want to jump their bones on the first date? Then don't be afraid to say that, too.
5. You'll control how people treat you.
You've heard the saying “Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, shame on me”? Well obviously I hope you never have to experience someone hitting you, but the meaning is relevant to all of us, in whatever situation.
The point is, you can't help the first time a date does or says something that you don't like or approve of, but you can stop it happening again. You teach and tell people how they will treat you, period.
You have this power, so start using it in all you do, especially when it comes to dating. People will respect you for having convictions, and that in turn will empower you.
Benefits of recognizing what you can't control:
1. You'll handle rejection more easily.
You might be amazing, but not everyone is going to like you. Sometimes the chemistry just doesn't match up but that's OK. Knowing your inner power will give you the strength to just accept that, this time, it just wasn't meant to be, and you'll move on.
Rejection is actually very good for us, as it keeps us from wasting our time with people who weren’t meant for us. If someone rejects you, next time look at it as a good thing rather than a negative and move on.
2. You'll stop wasting time on dates who don't deserve you.
If your date treats you badly, or it just isn't happening for you, don't be afraid to finish the date early and go home (or just go somewhere else on your own!). Life's too short to spend in situations that make you unhappy.
If your date is boring or disrespectful, simply be honest and say you think it's best if you go your separate ways. They might not react well, but that's all the more confirmation that you're making the right decision. And in the end, they might respect you for speaking your mind and being honest and not wasting their time.
For more information on how discovering the power within you can help your dating life and build your confidence, plus a whole host of other advice, tips and tricks, check out my intensive Confidence Coaching Program below for men and women.
This article was originally published at Naughty Lifestyle Guide. Reprinted with permission from the author.