Like anything, human beings change and evolve as they grow older, and sometimes we just need to move on. Keeping negative people around you will only drag you down, because that’s exactly what they want. They aren’t happy, and so they don’t want you to be , either. It’s the highest form of selfishness, and it’s something you don’t need in your life. Just as you should regularly clear your closet of clothes that don’t fit, or look bad on you, so you should do the same with friends. True friends will be with you for life, even if you don’t see or speak to them for a long time. Get rid of ‘drainer friends’, and make sure to surround yourself only with people who make you feel good, and for whom you can return the favor. Friendship should not be measured by quality, not quantity.
And when you find the people worth knowing, spend time with them. You’re single, so what? It doesn’t mean you’re not loved, or don’t have love to give. Make a point of going out on regular ‘dates’ with your friends. Spending quality time with people you love – not necessarily a lover – is important to your overall wellbeing. I believe wholeheartedly in holistic living, and that means looking after every individual part of my life, to make sure the ‘whole’ is happy. That includes making time for my friends. Even if I’m seeing a lover, or I’m very busy with work, I always make time for friends, just as I always make time for myself. All areas of my life have to be fulfilling, if I am to attain – and enjoy – completeness.
5. Love your family
None of us would be who we are without our families – good or bad. Our upbringing is what shapes us and makes us who we are. If you’re lucky enough to come from a loving family, don’t neglect them. Even if you are separated by distance, there is no excuse in this digital age not to stay in contact. Phone calls, emails, even proper letters, let them know how you’re doing, and keep the lines of communication open, even if you’re busy. It doesn’t take long to say “Hi, mom, how are you?”
Try and remember birthdays and other special occasions. Sending a card can mean the world to a loved one, but too many people these days either forget, or blame ‘hectic lifestyles’ for not bothering to remember. Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. If anything, it can make people feel neglected and ignored. As a single person, you should never forget how important your family are, as they’re the one constant in your life, whereas lovers come and go. Just as we need a best friend, we all need family to lean on sometimes, whether it’s as a shoulder to cry on, someone to sound off at, or someone to simply sit and listen when we need to talk. And when something good happens, it’s often a family member who you want to tell first, so treat them with the respect they deserve, and involve them in your life, even if it’s a short 5-min phone call every week, or a random postcard from wherever you happen to be. Knowing that someone is thinking about you, is one of the most special feelings in the world.