to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

How to Use a Sex Toy Alone or with a Partner

By . Posted on .

How to Use a Sex Toy Alone or with a Partner
Tips for using a vibrator or sex toy alone or with your lover. Easy tips for newbies.

You may feel a little ZING at first but try to BREATHE deeply and go with it. Many women, when they masturbate, do the "ring around the rosie" technique and they circle their pointer finger around their exposed clitoris. You can try the same thing with the vibrator you are using. (These techniques all seem to work best when you have something smallish that fits in your hand easily - like the 5 Speed bullet I mentioned above. Or a simple silver bullet would work, too.)

Just sort of take your free hand and make a "V" with your pointer and middle finger. And sort of spread your labia apart to help expose your clitoris. Then, put the vibrator in your other hand and circle it around your clitoris. Test out the pace you enjoy. Do you like it circled around quickly or slowly? Try both.

More from YourTango: Sex Toys are Appetizers, Your Partner is the Main Course

If you feel like it's too much, then just take your bullet and slide it down away from your clitoris and breathe. Turn it down to low and again, tease yourself with the vibration. Get the blood flowing around your entire inner thigh and labia area. A really good orgasm is all about blood flow to the pelvic region and good, deep breathing to let the blood and oxygen flow all through out your body. It's very easy when we get very excited to start shallow breathing as we start to get more excited. But, if you can slow it all down for a few moments, when you put the vibrator back on your clitoris it will intensify the orgasm.

Now, once you decided you LOVE the vibration on your clitoris and you have taught yourself how to orgasm with it on your clit - imagine all of the fun was you can use it with your lover.

You can use if on your nippels or his nipples during intercourse. You can slide it onto your clitoris while he is inside of you. You get the benefit of a clitoral orgasm while he feels the vibrator between the two of you.

If you don't want to hold it there, do what I did recently and use some of that medical tape and tape it exactly where you want it. It stays put! And the tape does not hurt when you peel it off.

Some couples like to insert it anally. I do like to recommend you put a condom on the bullet or other small toy to be sure it does not get lost in your rectum. Keep it so that the condom and the wire is COVERED which means easier to sanitize later and easier to pull back out later. We would never want the wire and toy to separate in a bad place.

There are so many ways to try the sex toys. These are just a few tips that might help you newbies get started. If you have an open mind and a great attitude, it will all feel good. Some men even enjoy vibration on their balls and their penis. As I like to say, if it feels good, get down with your bad self!

I have another blog I wrote that teaches women who have a hard time having an orgasm to test out a technique that has worked for many of my customers who struggle with orgasms. Orgasm Difficulty Blog link here.

More from YourTango: 6 Ways to Heat Up Your Sex Life with Foreplay

I hope this is helpful. Would love your comments. And, if you like my style, please like us on Facebook.  www.Facebook.com/BlissConnection and my YourTango readers can use the coupon code TANGO on our online store for 15% off.   www.BlissConnection.com

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Curvy Girl Chrystal Bougon

Author

Chrystal Bougon Sex Toy Expert, Resident Curvy Girl &  Pleasure Coach.

Founder of http://www.BlissConnection.com Award Winning Radio Show Host, "Everyone Wants to Have Better Sex" http://www.Bliss-Radio.com

Location: San Jose, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Curvy Girl Chrystal Bougon:

Sex Toys are Appetizers, Your Partner is the Main Course

By

I’ve talked before about how some men really dislike sex toys. They worry that a dildo or vibrator will replace them, whether due to sheer size or its ability to get a woman off.    The interesting thing is that many women seem to be just as intimidated by sex toys. They wonder if they’ll get addicted. They wonder if their partners ... Read more

6 Ways to Heat Up Your Sex Life with Foreplay

By

I was once asked if I ever had bad sex. Unfortunately, the answer is yes. These days, I work VERY hard to make sure it does not happen. I’ve made a commitment to taking ownership of my sexual encounters though. After all, it takes two to tango! (I do own a website called  www.StopFakingItJustHaveOne.com so I better NOT be having any bad sex any ... Read more

Luna Beads: Make your orgasms better and tone your vagina

By

Lelo's Luna Beads have made headlines with their vaginal weights system called the Lelo Luna Beads. And, they became insanely popular thanks to "Christian Grey" and his love of spanking "Anastasia" while she wore the "sex beads" in side of her vagina in the "50 Shades" trilogy. Ben Wa balls have been around ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cuffs

What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?

Dysfunctional Relationships are relationships that do not perform their appropriate function.

Smothering

Solving ADD to Autism at Home

How to use a "cheaper" alternate to Neurofeedback with non-drug therapies that work at home.

Liquor

Why Doesn’t He Like Me Back? 18 Reasons and Solutions

Learn the 18 most common reasons for why a guy doesn't like you back and how to deal with them.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS