How to Use a Sex Toy Alone or with a Partner


How to Use a Sex Toy Alone or with a Partner
Tips for using a vibrator or sex toy alone or with your lover. Easy tips for newbies.

Sex toys and sex toy shopping can be very intimidating for some people. I get emails and facebook me messages all of the time from women and couples who have no idea where to start. And, there are just some people who will NEVER walk into a sex toy store no matter what. It is just not in their personality no matter how "female oriented" a store is designed. (Some people are even shy buying online and over the phone!)

This article is for women or a couple who has no idea where to start and once they buy the toy what to do with it once they have it in their home.


So, my advice is to always start small and inexpensive. There is always time to graduate to the big guns. But, if you are buying your first sex toy then I believe under $50 is a good rule. And, there are tons of toys in that price range. I love the bu llet style toys for couples and women who have never had an orgasm before and who have never had a sex toy before. ( Here is a link to my all time favorite sex toy ever and it's called the 5 Speed bullet. It retails on my site for $38.)

(YourTango article I wrote Sex Toys for Newbies here.)

When it comes to sex toys, there are really NO rules. If it feels good to you, then do it. My only caveat to that statement is if you use it anally, you should observe a few rules. I will get to that later in the article.

Since most women have most of their orgasms from clitoral stimulation, most of us are going to need something to happen to our clitoris to have an orgasm. Now, sure, some women can have vaginal orgasms, anal orgasms, nipple orgasms, g-spot orgasms, etc etc.  But, the majority of us are going to have the majority of our orgasms from the clit. So, most people will use their vibrators and dildos mostly on their clitoris. But, remember, I saw there are no rules when it comes to sex toys.

When you are first starting out, why not lay in bed and see how the vibration feels on your inner arm where the skin is super soft. Test it out on the back or your knees where the skin is super soft. Roll it up to your nipples and see how it feels on each nipple.

When you are good and ready, slide it down to your lower tummy and your inner thighs. This is sort of like foreplay for yourself. (Your partner is also welcome to join in the fun. Let him or her test it out on the various areas of your body, too, to see which ones respond and which ones do not.

Then, when you are good and ready, test it gently on your labia (outer lips). Turn it on low and gently slide it all over your inner thighs and your lips. You will likely feel the blood flowing to your clitoris now (if not sooner) and you may be ready to test out the vibe on your clitoris. But tease yourself a little bit and keep it on low for now.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Curvy Girl Chrystal Bougon


Chrystal Bougon Sex Toy Expert, Resident Curvy Girl &  Pleasure Coach.

Founder of Award Winning Radio Show Host, "Everyone Wants to Have Better Sex"

Location: San Jose, CA
Credentials: Other
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