Discover the real reason for why men have affairs & cheat on their wives. The truth will shock you.
The sad truth is that some men commit for life, while others stray. This is hurtful whether the affair happens in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or in a long-term marriage, but may be more damaging once vows enter the picture. And of course, the true definition of affair is extra-marital.
Whatever the reason a man has an affair, and whatever the state of your relationship, it’s important not to blame yourself if this happens to you as I explain on my site. You did not do anything to cause or deserve the affair, and shouldn’t have to live with the guilt of something that happened to you, not by you. Whether you suspect your man may be having an affair or are currently dealing with the fallout of discovering you’ve been cheated on, it can be painful and tough to reconcile.
The first step is understanding the question “Why do men have affairs?” This can help you make sense of what happened (or is happening) and begin to move on with your life. Below are some of the most common reasons guys cheat.
No Attention From Their Spouse
When a guy has an affair, it’s often because they aren’t getting the attention they would like or feel they deserve from you, their spouse. Although society traditionally assumes it is women who want lots of love, attention, physical affection and emotional support, men need these things too.
Especially for men, attention often comes in the form of sex. Sometimes women withdraw from sex for various reasons, such as not feeling good about their bodies, being too wrapped up in work or kids, feeling mistrustful due to other issues in the relationship, or – let’s be honest – out of plain and simple punishment. Unfortunately, sex is a primary vehicle by which men feel loved and cared for, and if they don’t get it they are less likely to stay dedicated to the marriage.
When men feel insecure, perhaps due to the presence of other men or competing people (even children in the marriage), they may stray. If a man has an affair because he is feeling insecure, he is likely looking for validation from one of two sources: his new sexual partner, or his current spouse, who will presumably freak out upon discovering the affair, thus proving that the man does matter. This might not be mature, but it is a common reason that a guy has an affair.
Lack of Morals
Sometimes a man has an affair because he simply doesn’t see it to be wrong. If the man you’ve been married to has an affair and shows no remorse afterwards, you may find yourself wondering how you didn’t see this before. Sadly, women realize all too often that they didn’t know their partner as well as they’d thought when the man strays.
Lack of Control
A lack of control in the marriage is another common answer to “Why do men have affairs?” Marriages or relationships should be equal partnerships, and when the balance of power is too out of whack, problems arise. Sometimes men have affairs just to prove that they still wield power in the relationship: power to cause hurt, power to disrupt the balance of the marriage, or power to force issues that perhaps you have been ignoring. This doesn’t make the affair your fault, but it is a reason.
Wanting to End the Marriage
When men just want the marriage to end but can’t do it themselves, they may cheat to force your hand. This can be very painful, because on top of an affair hurting your feelings and making you feel insecure, it can be very embarrassing, especially if joint members of your social group find out. This is not a very honorable reason to have an affair (are any of them?), but men who do it are most likely uncommunicative and have trouble displaying their emotions, so you’re likely better off without them.
Abuse in the Current Relationship
Sometimes men feel abused in their relationships. Perhaps they feel like you are too loud, too nagging, too critical, too withholding or too absent. If so, they may seek the emotions they’re lacking from you in another woman. While this does give you some responsibility for what has happened to your relationship, it still does not mean the affair was your fault. Which leads us to a final thought …
Don’t Blame Yourself
Of course, men aren’t the only ones guilty of affairs. Women stray too, and their reasons for looking for romance outside a relationship are often quite similar. This doesn’t make it right for either gender, because affairs are hurtful and damaging. If you think your man may be unfaithful, you have the right to talk to him about it.
The bottom line, though, is that when a guy has an affair they only have themselves to blame. No matter what their reasons are for cheating, you have not caused the affair. Even if you haven’t acted as well as you might have in the relationship, the affair is still not your fault. Never let him tell you it is.
However, if you’d like to save your marriage or relationship either before or after an affair, an open line of communication is always the best place to start. If you care about him, even if he hurt you, then his feelings and reasons should matter. If you would like to learn powerful oral sex techniques then make sure to use the ones I teach in this tutorial video on my site.