BDSM 101: How To Be Submissive During Sex


BDSM 101: How To Be Submissive During Sex
Listen to your needs. If you want to be submissive, be submissive!

Learning how to be submissive can be a tricky thing. That's why I have written this guide, based on some of the principles for better sex that I teach at the Bad Girl's Bible to show you exactly how to be submissive for your man without him losing respect for you.

(P.S. If you want to learn my best dirty talking tips & techniques for building sexual tension & turning him on, you’ll find them in this powerful video).


It's Perfectly Normal To Want To Be Submissive

Often people feel or believe that there is something wrong with them because they want to be submissive to their man. The truth is that it's perfectly normal to feel this way. The problem is that wanting to be submissive can conflict with how society expects you to behave. You are expected to constantly act confident and even a little aggressive (especially in business).

The sad thing is that this may conflict internally with how you really feel. So the first thing is to accept that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be more submissive. Some people naturally feel this way, while others naturally feel like being more dominant.

It's A Spectrum

When you are figuring out how to be more submissive, you may start to think that there is only one way to embrace your submissiveness, that you need to be either totally submissive to someone or not at all. The truth is that everyone feels either submissive or dominant on a spectrum. Some feel it more than others and want to experience it more deeply than others.

You might feel like going into complete submission to your partner, where they control every aspect of your life or maybe you only want to be submissive in certain ways or at certain times. Again it's important to come to terms with this being something that's completely normal.

For some, the only type of submission that they ever want to experience is giving their man oral sex. Speaking of which, if you want to learn how to give your man awesome oral sex, then you may be interested in watching this detailed video tutorial that will teach you how to give a great bj.

Ok, now that we have talked about the fact that it's totally normal to feel submissive and even want to be submissive as well as submission being a spectrum as opposed just one simple defined thing, lets talk about some ways to experience your submissiveness with a partner.

Talk To Your Partner About It

The first stage to getting your partner to understand your submissive tendencies and the fact that you want to learn how to be more submissive is talking to him about it. 

Coming right out and telling him everything about it may be a bit 'too much, too soon'. A better approach is to slowly build up to this by telling him about the things you enjoy doing for him, that just happen to be submissive, while also letting him know that you enjoy him being dominant.

Starting with simple things is best, before graduating to telling him about the more extreme submissive tendencies you may have.

Being Submissive Does Not Mean Being Weak

Just because you want to learn how to become more submissive for your partner does not mean that you need to become week or feeble when you are around him. In fact he will probably respect you less if you do start acting weak and feeble around him.

To make sure that your partner still totally respects you while you submit to him, it's important that you both establish some ground rules so that it never gets to a point where you no longer have control in your life and he has total control.

Safe Word

A major component of establishing some ground rules with your partner when you are being submissive is what's called a 'safe word'. This is a word that you wouldn't ordinarily use to let your partner know that you are no longer comfortable with being submissive and want him to stop. Making sure that you both know the safe word and when to use it is crucial.

These are just a few tips on how to be more submissive, but there are other ways too... If you want to learn how to talk dirty to your man in a way that's submissive and turns him on, then you may want to take a look at this instructional video on talking dirty. If you'd like to learn how to give him submissive, hot oral sex, then you will get a lot out of this video.

More on kinky sex on YourTango:


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Sean Jameson


Learn more by visiting the Bad Girl's Bible site where you will get all my best sex tips and advice.

Location: Dublin, DB, Ireland
Credentials: Other
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