Chances are, your man wants you to take charge in the bedroom.
Learning how to be dominant in the bedroom is something that I think every woman should learn. (No, dominance during sex is not just for men.)
While it's not one of the usual techniques that I teach in the Bad Girl's Bible, it can help expand your horizons in the bedroom and help give you more ideas as to what's possible with your man. With this in mind, I want to give you four tips on mastering dominance in the bedroom with your man.
I'm going to start easy and then progress to tips that take a bit more effort and courage to try.
1. There is both a physical & mental aspect to dominance.
The first thing that comes to most people's minds when they think about being dominant in the bedroom is usually whips, leather, and chains. This is certainly a whole lot of fun when dominating your partner, but it's not always necessary and is actually on the extreme side of domination.
There are much more subtle and sometimes more powerful ways exert dominance over your partner. These range from simply saying something subtle to him like, "I really like it when you do things for me," to a bit more assertive language like saying something like, "I'm going to decide when you get to orgasm."
But that's just the verbal aspect of being dominant. There is also the physical aspect. This might start as something small like giving him some soft, subtle spanks during sex, or on the more extreme end, like insisting on woman-on-top sex positions only or even giving him some very dominant oral sex.
2. Start with a dominant sexual position.
Probably the easiest way to introduce a more dominant side of yourself in the bedroom is through new sex positions. Instead of the usual positions like missionary and "doggy-style", where your man is on top and the one in control, try switching to positions where you're on top and calling the shots.
The obvious position that comes to mind for this is "cowgirl", where your man is on his back and you are on top of him, straddling him, but there are other great positions for dominating your man, too. These include positions like "sofa surprise", where your man sits down on a sofa, couch or chair and you straddle him. In this position it's very hard for him to go anywhere and again, you're the one in control.
3. Start to command.
One of the biggest hurdles to dominating your man is that he may feel emasculated. If this is the case, then he may try to rebel and try to regain control. The best way to prevent this is to take things slowly and build up your dominant behavior. (I give you lots of examples of this in this instructional presentation here.)
Start with giving him small verbal commands and asking him to do favors for you, "Would you mind taking out the trash?" or "Can you go and warm up the bed for me?" or "I want you to make me come first, before you do, okay?" All of these commands are things that are very hard for your man to object to, but they are perfect for laying the groundwork of being more dominant over him.
Once you have mastered using these subtle dominant commands over him, then it's time to start slowly taking it up a gear and being more demanding of him, "I want to spend the weekend with you, don't make any plans, okay?" or "I don't want you wearing that football shirt anymore" or "From now on, you need to ask me for permission to come when we're having sex." If you find that it's hard to get your man to comply with these more intense commands, then it's best to reel them back a bit, before trying again.
4. Domination games.
Some of the example commands that I just gave you are quite intense and go further than you wish to go with your man. If you are someone who really only wants to dominate your man in the bedroom, then try these domination games:
- Not A Sound: The next time you're having sex with your man, tell him you want to play a game. Tell him you're going to make him want to groan with pleasure, but that he isn't allowed to make a sound. It's an incredibly simple game to play, but a perfect way to start introducing the idea to him that you're the one in control.
- Pin Him Down: Physically restraining your man is very hot. Now, I'm not actually talking about pinning his arms over his head with your arms, I'm talking about taking it a little further than that, tying his arms above his head. The best way to introduce this is to simply ask him if he would be interested in trying it out and then getting whatever restraints you need.
Surprising him with some rope and restraints is not such a good idea and can unnerve him, so remember that it's always better to talk to him about it first.
If you liked these tips on how to dominate your man and be more dominant in general and would like to learn more sex tips, then you will find a wealth of information on the Bad Girl's Bible to spice things up, keep your relationship fun and have some very hot sex, including a detailed & powerful video tutorial on how to give your man intense oral sex! Click here to watch it now.
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