These 8 anal sex tips will show you exactly how to have great anal sex without having to worry about things being awkward or weird, without it being uncomfortable and most importantly without there being any pain.
(P.S. If you want to learn my best dirty talking tips & techniques for building sexual tension & turning him on, you’ll find them in this powerful video)
Like I always say, communication is key. This is especially true when it comes to learning how to have anal sex for the first few times. It's important that you can quickly let your man know how you're feeling, if he needs to stop or slow down, or tell him if he's causing you pain. Now let's learn some anal sex tips!
1. Start Small
Most problems that occur when trying out anal sex with your man are associated with pain. This is usually caused by your anus not being used to having such a large, solid object pass through it like your man's penis. The best way to get over this pain is not painkillers, getting drunk or just grinning and bearing it.
Instead the best way is to start with something very small first, on your own so that there is no pressure. The easiest thing that comes to mind is your finger. Apply a little lube to your finger and around your anus and then slowly slide it in. Once it's in, leave it there for a few minutes and notice how your sphincter (the muscle that squeezes around your fingers slowly loosens up).
Try do this for a few nights with just one finger before moving on to adding a second finger and eventually using a third finger. Once you are comfortable with this, then try using a butt plug. Again, notice how it can be a little sore at first, but eventually your muscles loosen up and it can be quite pleasurable. Lastly, when you are comfortable with all of the above, you can try using a clean dildo. Slowly push it in and pull it out, in and out until this motion becomes comfortable. Once you are comfortable doing all this by yourself, then it's time to allow your man to enter you.
2. Start Slow
The next anal sex tip I want to give you is actually a major pitfall that you face. It's your man getting carried away with himself and taking things too fast. This can get sore very fast. So before your man even enters you, make sure that he knows that you need to take things slow at first, before slowly speeding up. By the way, if you want to learn how to give your man a great blowjob, along with some really clever foreplay examples, you may be interested in checking out this bj tutorial video.
3. Lots Of Lube, The Right Lube
Next up is making everything move as smoothly as possible. This is a super simple step, that sadly many completely overlook. They think that water or just a little bit of saliva will, "do the trick." It can help, but usually not as well as using a proper lubricant. I always advise students to use a water based lubricant. Using an oil based lubricant for lubrication is a terrible idea as it will quickly degrade latex condoms. Thankfully water based lubricants don't have this affect. Make sure that both you and your man apply lube and lots of it before you starting having anal sex.
4. Be Still, Man
When your man first enters you, it's best if he remains completely still while you adjust yourself and do all the moving. This way you have complete control over how deep and fast penetration is. If you allow your man to set the pace of things, then you can very quickly find yourself in a lot of pain. After a few minutes of your man being still as well as you getting used to everything and you can feel yourself loosening up, then you can start to slowly allow your man to take more control and thrust into you. Just make sure to communicate with him during this entire time to make sure he never goes overboard.
5. Get In Position
This next anal sex tips is more about positioning than about the actual techniques you use. Doggystyle position with you on your hands and knees and your man on his knees is a perfect position for starting off learning about anal sex. You can then try a number of other positions like the Bodyguard position where you are both standing up and facing the same direction with your back to your man. Cowgirl as well as Asian Cowgirl are also great for this. You will also find that spooning makes for some very intimate anal sex.
6. Be Safe!
It goes without saying that you should always be safe when having sex, whether it's anal sex, oral sex or vaginal sex as you never, ever want to accidentally catch any type of disease off your partner. To this end, remember that your man should always wear a condom. Also make sure that your man never moves from having anal sex to having vaginal sex with you. Or from having anal sex to having oral sex with you as you will put yourself massively at risk of disease and/or infection.
7. Most Important Anal Sex Tip Ever: It's Not For Everyone
The second last anal sex tip that I want to give you is probably the most important, but also the most forgotten. The thing is, anal sex is not for everyone. Sure, some couples adore it so much that they prefer it to regular vaginal sex. But other couples aren't nearly as into it. My advice: Talk your man about it, try it with an open mind and if you both enjoy it, then do it regularly. But if you really don't enjoy it at all, don't feel pressured into doing it just because other people are doing it.
8. Other Great Sex Tips
Anal sex is not the be all and end all of great sex. If you want to see your man's eyes light up and truly desire you, then you should do your best to learn how to talk dirty to him too. He will be forever grateful for it. If you want to learn some super powerful techinques, then make sure to check out this blow job tutorial video.
More hot sex advice from YourTango: