Should I Confess My Financial Infidelity To My Spouse?

By Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple. Posted on Jun 2nd 2012.

All couples have money secrets and it's time to confess yours.

Many people ask, "should I tell my spouse about my past financial infidelity?" My answer is to get it off your chest, feel free of the past and then move on.

Nearly every relationship harbors some level of Financial Infidelity. It doesn't matter what money personality is. It might be as minor as not telling your partner what you really spent on her birthday gift or as major as keeping a secret bank account to pay for your gambling addiction. (Find out where you stand with the Financial Relationship Index) Either way, the path to a healthy money relationship will never be smooth unless you are honest about your behavior and committed to changing your ways. How To Plan Dates On A Budget

If you've got a history of lying about spending or hiding money from your partner, it's time to come clean. You can do it!

Here are five steps to confessing it that will get your relationship on the right track, bring you both closer and help you get through the number one relationship killer:

1. Admit your Financial Infidelity to yourself. Take a good look at what you've been doing and why you've been doing it. What's behind your behavior; is it anger, control, resentment or shame? Before you tell your partner about your infidelity, you need to understand what's led you to these behaviors. This isn't about making excuses or blaming your partner, it's about being honest with yourself so you can take ownership of what you've done. No one made you do these things.

2. Be prepared for anger. Your partner is going to be angry and hurt. He or she might even resent you, especially if your financial infidelity has led to debt or other money problems. As much as we'd like to tell you this won't happen or that everything's going to be just fine, the truth is that financial infidelity is a real problem that brings with it real pain. 5 Ways Couples Can Recover From A Fight

More relationship advice from YourTango:

Want more expert advice?

Article contributed by

Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple

View profile

Advanced Member

Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple

YourTango Expert Partner

The Money Couple, Scott & Bethany Palmer are authors, regulars on national TV, radio and speak internationally about “Love and Money”. With 40 years of combined financial planning experience they launched The Money Couple® and have dedicated their lives to helping couples bring their love and money together. Scott and Bethany enjoy an active lifestyle living in Colorado with their two young sons, Cole and Cade.

Take our FREE Money Personality Quiz!

Check for Financial Infidelity with our FREE Money Relationship Index!

See our NEW BOOK, The 5 Money Personalities™: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language

Location: Colorado Springs, CO

Credentials: Other

Website: http://www.TheMoneyCouple.com

Other Articles/News by Scott and Bethany Palmer The Money Couple:

Just Graduated? 5 Ways To Avoid Money Fights With Mom & Dad

By Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple

Sometimes things don't go as planned. You picked a great college, studied hard (most days), and wore the cap and gown—so where is the great job, fat paycheck, and place to call your own? If you're like most college graduates these days, there is no high-paying job, and your new place looks a lot like your old room at Mom and Dad's ... Read more

Mother's Day: 3 Creative Ways To Show Your Love For Mom

By Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple

Our modern celebration of Mother's Day began with the efforts of Anna Marie Jarvis during the early 20th century. As a young girl, Anna overhead her mother praying for a "memorial day for mothers." Anna never forgot that prayer and after her mother's death in 1905, she set out to honor her mother (and mothers everywhere) with a special day. In ... Read more

5 Financial Questions To Ask Before Getting Married

By Scott And Bethany Palmer The Money Couple

No one needs to know you started pinning ideas for the wedding after your second date. Planning is a good thing! Although money matters aren't nearly as fun as picking out the theme, the colors, the cake flavor or the wedding gown, discussing your philosophies on budgeting is just as important as anything else you plan for your married life ahead. An ... Read more